Pushing my buttons…. battle of the sexes

OMG, I don’t even know where to start!!!!!!  Have you ever had a “battle, argument, disagreement or whatever” with someone that started as a somewhat serious issue, but just turned into the most laughable, ignorant thing ever.   I am having so much trouble finding the words…… but Einstein has done it again…...DAMN BUTTON PUSHER!!!!

Ok So here’s the thing…. I am very very organized and have OCD about the cleanliness of my house….. most importantly things NOT being left on the floor.  I can, and frequently do, trip on air, and have broken many bones from falling etc.  ( to be honest though, I have probably always been OCD)  Either way, I hate things on the floor!!!!!

Einstein has an issue with ….you guessed it leaving things on the floor….most notably his laundry.  I have two hampers set up in our bedroom, the black one for his work clothes and the white one for everything else.  They are both right outside the bathroom, with absolutely no obstacles in their way.  So why can’t he hit the fucking thing?!??!!  There is not just one but TWO of them!!!!!  20180107_125708

Silly me thinking maybe he hadn’t been taught how to use a hamper in his lifetime, even made signs for the hampers.  I gave him a two minute instructional lecture on how to take off dirty clothes and place them in the hamper.  I have attempted to show him how easy it is to drop wet towels from his shower right into the basket.  NOTHING WORKS!!!!  Einstein is not ignorant in away way.  If nothing else, the fact that he is so successful at work, proves this.  SO Why the hell can’t he hit the hamper?!?!?

Ok, we are getting older, maybe his eyesight is starting to fail.  Maybe the fact that he has too many choices is overwhelming for him.  So I took ONE HAMPER and put it RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR BEDROOM thinking “he can’t miss this”….  I come home to this…..

laundry goes inside the hamper
Laundry goes INSIDE the hamper

are you fricking kidding me?!?!??!  He took the time to lay his pants on one side, his tshirts on another and so on and so on.  ( I staged this picture, because I can’t find the original one from maybe 3 years ago)…. Yes 3 years ago!!!!  We are still having this battle!!!!!

I have tried not washing his clothes if he doesn’t hit the hamper.  ( apparently the smells from the chemicals he gets on his clothing bother me more than him though)  I have tried hamper relocation, purchasing multiple hampers etc. and am now at my wits end.  Last week after actually falling on his clothes,  I “snapped”.  I took blue painters tape, and outlined the “common areas” of our bedroom.  I told him, “If you insist on leaving your clothes on the floor, do it outside of the COMMON AREAS.  The common area is now outlined to help make this clear for you.”…… The tape is making him nuts, but he still can’t hit the hamper.  (to be honest it is kind of making me nuts too, but I really don’t know what else to do)… a bit of passive aggressiveness here….  This is what the bedroom floor looks like this morning……..20180107_125613

So now I guess I wait?   I told him that I was going to make a blog post about this.  Maybe he thinks no one will read it.  Maybe he thinks everyone will just think I am crazy?  I don’t know, but there it is….Evidence to be used against me for when I finally lose it?  To all the woman out there…… help?

….to all the guys……. Is this a guy thing?

to all the doctors (psychiatrists) ……..why does he push my buttons

and more importantly why do I let him?!?!??!

This blog is MEANT to be funny.  I can’t very well dispose of his body now that I have shared this story with the world, (and I have removed the “body” I outlined on the floor in tape) but maybe I can Push his buttons a bit, by showing him that I did indeed make a blog about this and people actually read it?  Please like this, comment, share etc.  at the very least smile and know that there is someone out there more messed up than you 😛




27 thoughts on “Pushing my buttons…. battle of the sexes

  1. Ah. Hmmm. . . I used to find socks and underwear everywhere as well. Turns out that after we lived apart for three years, he learned to not only find the hamper, but pay bills, do his own laundry, cook, clean and a myriad of other things. Yes it’s a guy thing but yes, it can be cured! 💜🙏🏻🐶🐾🤓

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Einstein, shame on you. Shame on you!!! (is it ok like this?)
    My hubby’s like that, with the exception that he leaves his clean stuff on the floor. It’s even worse, right? I gave up. It’s an eyesore, I nag, I blackmail him with the kid. I thought maybe one day….15 years later and what do we have? His socks are looking at me as I speak (actually looking up to me, lol). Disgusting.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Dear agony aunt,
    When I was alone in Spain my hamper was the simplest possible washing machine. When my clothes reached a certain level in went the liquid powder, smelly stuff and I switched it on. I am now living with a woman in Austria and I brought my washing machine with me. I am now in a quandary. Do I put my clothes in the washing machine or on the floor ? Please help.
    Clothes geek. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. LOL. Since you are living with someone, you need to come to an agreement WITH her, something that is acceptable to you BOTH!!! 😛
      To be honest, If I had my preference none of us would wear clothes anyway, so the problem would solve itself?

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Dear agony aunt,
        Does wearing no clothes mean that I now have put in the liquid powder, smelly stuff, jump in the washing machine and switch it on. Seems such a waste to leave the machine unused. With me in the washing machine the Kitty TV would be extra special. Is it safe for my cats to watch me on fast spin ?
        No clothes geek

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Right there with ya. While they can have a genius IQ the simplest things escape them. I’m a bit OCD as well. I’ve learned to pick my battles with Lance. There’s only so much we can pass on to our spouses without being accused of nagging. But this did make me chuckle and showed me I’m NOT the only one fighting a losing battle.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Entirely too funny. The painting tape is a riot. But there’s nothing passive about it if my recollections of psych class are correct. That’s a bold move and a funny one

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I always us a basket for the dirty clothes – yet I some times miss it – if I pitch my clothes across the room. But, do pick them up later or the next day (at least). I think he is just playing with you – to see how long it takes for you to blow. You are allowed open burning – take the clothes on the floor outside toss them in a pile and torch them – would he learn from this “No” – but, it would make “You” feel better………………………………..

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lol True Gary!….My ultimate goal with the posts was to “push his buttons back”. Apparently it worked! I will have to tell you the whole story next time we skype, but to summarize this is the first post that i KNOW he read, he even complimented my writing, and then proceeded to make a wordpress account to “retaliate”…ut oh

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Oh my gosh yes! My husband isn’t so bad but my ex did this a lot. If only I’d had a smartphone back then; I could’ve taken pictures! Plastic bags and wrappers in the kitchen sink, laundry near–but not in–the basket, shoes right in the middle of the front entryway, and so on. Now all I have to watch out for are the cats; they place their toys “strategically”, “mysteriously” right in the middle of the floor, in the main hallway LOLOL 😂💖

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Ken used to leave his slippers on the basement stairs. No amount of nagging worked. One day, I took them out to the garden and buried them. He didn’t find out until years later–he thought he’d just misplaced them. A few years ago, he kept clipping his fingernails into the sink but kept missing and they would end up on the floor. Again, no nagging would help. I told him that if I found another fingernail on the floor, I would grind it up and put it in his food, but he would never know what meal it would be in. I never saw another clipping again. Maybe it’s time for you to get out a shovel…:-)

    Liked by 1 person

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