Help! I don’t know how to be a “GIRL”

Ok, Ok, you all know that I have the X chromosomes… (there are two right?)

I was born a female.  I have not had any surgeries or anything like that to change that fact, nor do I want to.  (well except for this one time, when I had a hysterectomy... medically necessary NOT elective) But I am struggling with how a “girl” is supposed to look, act, dress etc.  You see, I’ve never actually TRIED to “fit in”,  BUT now…

Thing ONE is getting Married in March!!!

I am THE MOTHER OF THE BRIDE…. who knew that was such a thing?  I mean I know I’m her mother, but I apparently don’t just get to sit there and watch my kiddo get married,  I actually have to SHOW UP, (like dress up and say stuff and…..whoa)….

When she was a little girl and it was just the two of us, I envisioned being the one to walk her down the aisle, and that’s as far as it ever went.  I never thought about “giving her away” or her father walking her down the aisle.  I am glad that Einstein is doing that part, since I don’t think I could say the words when asked, “who gives this woman?”

DRESSing up to SHOW UP

I guess it makes sense that the first part for me then is choosing a Dress, since I was informed that I can NOT wear sweats and a Tshirt.  I was also TOLD that I could not wear a Tuxedo as I have in 2 previous weddings.  DON’T JUDGE!!! (I had “stereotypical male roles” as an Usher in one, and a Best Man in the other, so it was fitting, AND cheaper.) 😛

Picking out a mother of the Bride Dress

Thing 1 and her bridesmaids told me I was not allowed to wear a tent, or an old matronly type dress either, because I am not OLD….. well THAT got my attention….DO TELL!!!!  So I agreed to wear a dress if they helped me pick one.  We went to David’s Bridal and the fitting person asked me what kind of a dress I would like….um….well…. um… I repeated the bridesmaids directives and added a few of my own:

  1. The dress could NOT be matronly
  2. It had to be the Color Plum (to compliment the bridal party)
  3. The dress had to be long so I could “hide my bag of pee” if I needed it that day (and to hide my tennis shoes, if I could get away with wearing those)
  4. I get hot very easily, so no long sleeves

The “fitter person” took my measurements, suggested a size, and the bridesmaids all took off running to find the “perfect dress”.  SO Many dresses…..smh  I was exhausted by the time I had tried them all on, so I told them to vote and pick one.  They did.  (and I spent a boat load of money on a dress)

Time for shoes!

My kiddo, told me I could wear my tennis shoes under my dress because they are custom fit with orthotics to keep me upright…so for the most part that is covered. ( I do own a nice pair of black flats for pictures so that part is covered too)…. I think I’m good to go…..but

What about your Hair and Make up?

Yes I have hair, no I don’t own makeup.  Next?……(apparently it is not that simple)

Hiring someone to do your hair and makeup for a wedding

My daughter presented me with 3 options for having my hair and make- up done.  I am pretty sure she doesn’t really care how I show up as long as I show up, but she wanted me to feel included.  She told me there are 3 packages available for make up (hair is included)

  1. Regular make up
  2. Airbrush makeup
  3. “24 hour” makeup.

I honestly don’t know what any of that means and all would be a change for me, but ok here goes.  So, I called the place that she hired to do everyone’s hair and make up and asked them if they have something like SHELLAC that they could apply over whatever they decide to do to my face….they laughedI WAS SERIOUS!!!

I expect to bawl like a baby, not bad tears, but happy ones, but lots of tears nonetheless.  And I am a horrible crier…

making crying beautifulI look NOTHING like Jennifer Love Hewitt in Ghost Whisper who looks more beautiful with each tear she sheds.

So please just make it water/tear proof.


I even enlisted Tiara from DGGYST to ask for make up tips.  (she really is kind, even in real life…not just “celebrity mode”) and she didn’t laugh at me when I asked for help.

Choosing Bridal Jewelry

Now I am stuck on Jewelry/accessories.  How the hell do you chose those?  Do they have to be the color of the dress, or do you pick something for the style of the dress?  Since I don’t really own any jewelry, I suppose I should buy something that I can wear again.  (like maybe when thing 2 gets married)

I do have pierced ears, but only because the holes never closed from when I was 12 and pierced my own ears to shock my parents.  So I was thinking maybe matching earrings and a necklace?…I am really stuck though.

I am afraid to ask anyone I know in real life to go shopping with me, for fear that they will try to talk me into a full wardrobe makeover….and then our friendship would have to end….and well let’s just say it’s better that I don’t ask them.

So here I am asking for help.  Any advice on how to Choose jewelry?  I would like to draw attention AWAY from my port.  (I know I am very self critical, I am working on that.)  I am excited about the Wedding, and I am getting excited about dressing up, it’s just been so long since I have, that I have forgotten “how to be a girl”.





17 thoughts on “Help! I don’t know how to be a “GIRL”

    1. I LOVE TIES!!! and feeling bad ass is good! This whole dress thing is a challenge, and I am kind of excited about the whole hair and make up thing…to be a princess for a day….but it is new so I’m all kinds of nervous


  1. Yay for dressing up! Love the dress, it looks great. My sister is similar, she wore makeup for the first time at her wedding and I had never seen her in a dress beforehand. I wouldn’t go too chunky on the jewellery but maybe something with multiple delicate bits hanging of it? That was terribly described, I’ll see if I can find a pic. Hahaha


  2. This made me chuckle because I used to be such a tomboy and now with my health issues I’ve lost a lot of my ‘girly’ side; I am and always have been more of a jeans & T-shirt & Doc Martens girl. BUT I love jewellery, just not necessarily the sparkly kind. You are beautiful and the dress is stunning and nobody will care a jot about the port, though obviously that doesn’t necessarily help how you feel about it. Break the rules, be yourself, be comfortable. Long dangly earrings with a touch of sparkle perhaps? A Y-chain style necklace? Pick something YOU like and wear it proudly and enjoy feeling a little different than your day-to-day self 🙂
    Caz xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I totally get what you are saying about health issues changing that….who the hell can do the clasps on jewelry when your fingers don’t work. I used to have a girly side, hair done, nails (long nails) the whole kit and caboodle, but since I stopped working or NEEDING to dress up, I have let it all go, I just kind of forgot how. Thank you for the necklace tip! I dug my old jewelry box out the other day at first glance there is nothing suitable to wear in there….but I found my old “madonna” bracelets…..smh

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I think health issues really can change how we behave, how we see ourselves, how we treat ourselves… I can’t remember the last time I wore something ‘nice’ or spent time on my appearance. This will be a good chance for you to pay yourself a little more attention (while staying ‘true’ to yourself and being comfy). I’m sure the bracelets are lovely, but I did just have to Google ‘smh’ to see what that meant!! (SMH at my own lack of coolness…) xx


  3. You look stunning in your dress! It suits you beautifully!
    I’m not a make up or jewellery person either but maybe something dainty and delicate that has some different length strands hanging down to draw focus away from your port etc.
    You have to wear something that suits you and makes you feel just as special as your daughter will feel.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. TY!… Now I just have to keep all these nice words with me while I’m wearing it….at least I don’t have to try heels…. Ty for the pictures you sent… I especially like the sun and moon one, not for the wedding, but just my taste 🙂


    1. TY Kim!… looking at my face scares me though, these makeup people better know what they are doing!!!! I’ve settled into the “I don’t care how I look thing for so long” I forgot what it feels like to WANT to look good.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Dammmnnn girl! Very pretty! If you’re going to wear your hair up I would wear clip on earrings and a necklace set. Probably ruby with a few ‘diamonds’. If you’re wearing your hair down maybe similar but understated. I’m not sure what they have by you but we have Claire’s, it’s a costume jewelry store in the mall. You’re looking at maybe $25/$30 tops. Hopefully you’ll share photos of the final result! I’m a pearls girl at heart (no jewelry wearing these days). They go with everything.


    1. Thing 1 and I are going to get our dresses fitted tomorrow ( yah for taking them in instead of out)…people have sent me some pics on fb and I’m going to run those by her)…yes no jewelry wearing for me anymore either…feels like a completely different life.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. A tuxedo? Grace, you’re my idol.
    You look amazing in that dress. It’s hard to give advice about jewelry. I’d say sth stylish and elegant, without too many details. Minimalist jewelry is the best jewelry. Same color/matching. Personally, I don’t like necklaces. They make me feel like I’m wearing a fucking dog collar. But, I do love rings, bracelets and earrings (don’t remember the last time I wore them, though, for the fear I don’t stay without my ears…, right?!) Make sure they are one-colored, best would be gray/silver.
    Maybe sth like this:

    Or sth like these (love No 8, or 10-unusual black is cool too/ 21, 23)

    Hope this helps. Get back to me. I want to know what you think.


  6. I wish I lived closer to you. I would sooooo be doing this with you. My opinion 1) go with the 24 hrs make up so you don’t have to retouch it during the day/evening. I’m sure the eye make up will be waterproof since it’s 24 hr make up. 2) go with delicate jewelry you have a small frame and are naturally beautiful. You don’t want jewelry that’s overpowering and looks clunky. 3) don’t stress it you’re going to be beautiful and have an awesome time with your daughter.

    Liked by 1 person

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