Irrational fears

As I was setting up the coffee maker this morning, (the ONE time Gary hadn’t beat me to it) I had this horrible feeling of Dejavu. The last time I said goodbye to a friend before boarding a plane, he died a few hours later…… I know that one thing has nothing to do with the other, but I literally started having a panic attack….smh. I don’t understand how my brain works in the least..logic and emotion certainly do not go well together…..over the last few days in vegas, I have jumped off a building, gone zip lining, secured a very nice sunburn for myself, and rode the rides on top of the stratosphere….im fearless in that department, but I am afraid to death of losing another person. I wasn’t able to “talk myself down” from this one…..yah for xanax…and wordpress…and facebook.

8 thoughts on “Irrational fears

  1. Oh sweetie I am so sorry you were having a hard time. It is perfectly normal to have these feelings. You my dear have been through so much and you are still grieving. Don’t be hard on yourself for struggling with things. I can not believe you jumped off a building and went zip lining. That kind of stuff scares the hell out of me. I am not scared of heights, but I am terrified of the feeling of falling. I won’t even go on a roller coaster. I love heights and standing over the edge of a high building! Sounds crazy I am sure. Take care my dear sweet friend!!

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  2. Your brain is making an understandable connection between totally unrelated things. A funny thing about brains is even in a smart person–and you are smart–they can be kinda stupid. But that same brain understands that there was a very real, very valid connection between you and your friend, that you shared something.
    That same brain is able to tell you that even though jumping off a building seems scary there are times when it’s safe to do it, and even though it will take time and won’t be easy and will take time I think you’ll come through this, I think you’ll understand and feel better, on an emotional level as well as a logical one. Your brain is kinda smart that way.

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  3. I completely understand. It is such a sudden, emotional event and you can expect to be living in a surreal environment for a while. Don’t be afraid to be scared, as ironic a sentence as that is. We are all here for you. šŸ™‚


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