Me and My shadow

I’ve developed a new shadow this week, in the form of a young boy.  Since my kids are adults now, I am really not good at guessing ages.  He is old enough to ride a bike and is learning to ride a skateboard, and he has really good manners, but he is YOUNG.  Maybe 7 or 8?  I keep forgetting to ask.

A few weeks ago, when I was walking SNUFF my German Shepherd, the little boy said, “Excuse me Ma’am, may I pet your dog?”  I told him that I did not think it was a good idea because Snuff was “working” and she is kind of protective of me while she is on the job.  I then thanked him for asking and continued on my way.

The following week when Danica and I were taking a walk in the evening, the little boy was outside with an older person (older than him younger than me) boy I am bad at ages.  I would have guessed the other young man was 18 or 19.  Both boys said Hello to us as we were passing.  I took a minute to stop and tell the older boy (maybe his father?) that the younger one had incredible manners.  (something I always loved to hear about my kids, because they didn’t have those incredible manners at home)  We talked for a few minutes, and I told the older boy (his brother) that if the younger one still wanted to meet Snuff, that he and their parent could come to my house, where my dog would be more relaxed.

They have not come by.  shrug?

The other day, I was walking D.O.G. and the younger boy ran out of his house asking if he could pet my other dog.  D.O.G. is friendly as hell, so I stopped and said, “Okay, sure.”  After about 5 minutes, I told him I needed to finish my walk, and tried to say Goodbye.  The little guy, I now know his name is Dalton, started following me and he hasn’t stopped.  Every day I pass his house and he runs outside yelling, “Good morning, Ms. Grace”.  It’s cute, he’s sweet.  So why is this a problem?

Because he keeps following me home.  I’ve tried to tell him that he can not come to my house without a parent, (who I have yet to meet) or his older brother.  I feel bad.  We live in a way different world than when my kids were younger, and I was the Kool-aid house.  I am sad that this little boy is alone so much, but I don’t want to be a babysitter.  I also don’t want him hanging around my house waiting for me or the dogs to come outside and get hurt.

I’ve thought about stopping at his house one night and asking to meet his mom, but (1) I don’t want to get him in trouble for being bored, and (2) what if I find out he is alone all day, am I morally obligated to do something?  I really really really don’t want to “involved”, but that’s what I do.

What would you do?

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So THIS happened today

The other night, I was making a pork chop on the stove, and my smoke detector went off literally saying.  “FIRE, FIRE, FIRE”.  There was no fire, there was no smoke, but because it was 10 pm at night, I did have an angry kid who had to be up for work at 5 the next day, running into the kitchen yelling at me.  WHOOPS…

I kept hitting the button to turn it off.  It did stop yelling Fire, but then it started saying “Carbon monoxide warning”.  Thing 2 got angry and took the batteries out before lecturing me about making food so late etc and then she went back to sleep.

Yes I did 😛 when she closed the door.  I ate my pork chop and that was the end of it, so I thought…..

This morning I woke up, made my normal path to the bathroom and stepped in dog vomit.  SMH….cmon really?  Why do animals always have to puke on the rugs or carpet areas?

I kind of hopped into the bathroom to clean my foot off, only to step in cat vomit.  You have got to be fricking kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  ( well at least in the bathroom it was on the newspaper that is still down on the floor from my last incident).

After cleaning everything up, I walked into the kitchen to start the coffee…. want to guess what happened there?

I am not kidding….. MORE animal vomit!!!!

When I finished cleaning everything up, Thing 2 came into the kitchen complaining of a headache and feeling like she wanted to be sick as well.  You know, come to think of it, I have been feeling nauseous myself which I just attributed to taking wellbutrin to quit smoking….but what if…..

I googled what to do if you suspect a gas or c02 leak and called the number for our utility company.  They advised me to take all the people and animals outside (2 dogs and 3 cats).  Within minutes,  emergency vehicles started showing up from all directions.

It turns out, my stove is broken and there is indeed Carbon Monoxide leaking from it.  SMDH!

 

A cry for help (stolen from Tom)

Maybe, just maybe….my site has been moved without losing too much information?

I need to test some things though… If you are reading this will you please comment below and tell me where you saw the post… in your reader? on facebook? on twitter? or direct to the website

please please please

So far NOT so good….

Have you ever seen the description on a product that says, “easy to assemble” or “no tools required”?

I try to avoid those products like the plague because you do always need tool, and 8 extra hands, the directions aren’t even easy to read

well apparently the same is true for switching to self hosted, when they say…”we will do all the work for you”… OMG SMH

Please send beer

lots of beer

Cat out of the bag….

ONE THING that I am really not good at other than telling a lie is keeping a secret.  The whole not being good at lying is NOT because I haven’t tried, it just takes too much work and my face gives me away EVERY. DAMN. TIME. so I gave up trying a long time ago. BUT……….

I do really, really, really TRY to keep secrets. 😦  hmmmm That sounds terrible!  I hate keeping secrets!!!

Can you tell I have a secret?  Or rather I have been trying to keep a secret for a couple months?!?!?!  This is not a BAD secret, in fact it’s really incredible news!!!  The problem is it wasn’t mine to tell……  UNTIL NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THING ONE IS………….. P R E G N A N T

but wait……………

there is more……………….

 

 

THING ONE IS PREGNANT WITH            TWINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am going to be a GMA!!!!!!! ( or a granny, or a nanny, or a mimi, oh the possibilities are endless…)   But there it is…. My baby is having babies…and I couldn’t be more excited!!!!!

If you all can throw some GMA names my way, I would really appreciate it!!!!!

Oh wait ….Of course there is more to this story……

Remember in the first paragraph when I said I’m bad at keeping secrets?  I know some of you are like “no shit, you already told ME”….SHHHHH I would never do that , well except this one time….

So my kids godmother is named Wendy.  Unfortunately, we don’t see Wendy that much any more because our lives have taken different paths, but she is still very important to all of us.  I saw Wendy’s Green light come on Facebook the other day, and after about 2 seconds of thought, I figured it would be “safe to tell her”…….

I sent her a message the other day saying, “hey can you talk for a minute”?  She replied, “sure”.  “Ok calling now”

When she answered the phone…..

Wendy: Hey what’s up?

Grace: I have incredible news!!!!

Wendy: OMG Thing ONE is pregnant?!?!?

Grace:  YES!!!!!! But it’s even BETTER than that!!!!!!!!

Wendy:  OMG Twins?!?!?

Grace:  YES!!!!!!!!

Wendy:  Do they run in Z’s (her husbands) family?

Grace:  We didn’t know it, but apparently yes……

Next I hear her talking to someone else who then took the phone from her to talk to me….. ?!?!?!?  I hear… “Hi, Grace it’s Brandon aren’t you so excited to be a grandma?”

HUH?   Stunned silence on my part as my brain races to understand who the hell this Brandon is considering I only know one and this is not his voice.  I mutter out something silly like….

Grace: “hell yeah I’m excited, but how did you know?!?!?”  Remember it’s supposed to be a secret

Brandon:  “well she told my wife and I got to see the ultrasound picture”

At this point, I am frustrated that 1.  I know I am busted for telling the secret, and 2.  I still couldn’t figure out who the hell I was talking to so I reply a little bit snarky

Grace:  Well I got to go to the ultrasound! 😛 😛 😛

Then it dawns on me…. I DO know who Brandon is.   He is the officiant from Thing One and Z’s wedding in March!!!!  Oh shit, I am really busted…

Brandon puts Wendy back on the phone and we finished our conversation.  I can already hear the messenger alerts in my ear and I know that Thing One knows…..ut oh, I’m in trouble….

Thing One:  So now Wendy knows?

With the following screen shots attached…..

I swear you can’t make this shit up!  Brandon and Wendy don’t know each other, they live in completely different towns and just happened to be a swimming lessons with their two daughters.  What are the chances of that?!?!??!!?