If you have followed me for any amount of time, I am sure that you have heard me talk about my GSD, SNUFF. If you haven’t heard about or met her please take a moment to get to know her while there is still a little bit of time.
When you spend as much time with your animals as I do, you quickly notice any different or unusual personality traits. Last week, Snuff ‘s ears were down, and when I would get up to leave the room she didn’t sprint up in front of me to see where we were going. She was eating normally and when I felt her belly and limbs she didn’t cry or pull away but she just didn’t appear to be “up to SNUFF”.
I called the vet and said I needed to bring her in to be examined, for the reasons I mentioned above. They told me to watch her for a couple of days and see if anything changed. I made an appointment for Friday.
When Dan got home, I asked him to look at Snuff and see if I was overreacting. When he lifted her chin to look into her eyes, she collapsed on the floor.
We called the vet back and they said to bring her in immediately.
A series of tests and xrays showed that she was bleeding internally and if we had any hope to save her, she would need emergency surgery.
OK SO DO THE GOD DAMNED SURGERY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Several hours later, the doctor’s reported that there had been a tumor on her spleen that had ruptured, so they performed a splenectomy. They said that her liver and kidneys looked good, but that we should still send the tumor out for a histopathology to see if it was cancerous.
Over the last week Snuff’s personality has returned. I told myself that the tumor had to be benign and that she would only continue to improve.
(She has really been letting me know that she hates wearing the cone to prevent her from licking her staples)
The vet called with the results Thursday and crushed my hopes. We were no longer calling the tumor a hemangioma, but now it was called Hemangiosarcoma ….. CANCER.
They have given her 2- 12 months to live stating that the former is more likely as it is a very aggressive cancer. I am hoping, wishing, and praying or whatever its called that it’s the later. I am just not ready. Although I know I never will be. Snuff is part of the family!
As I try to wrap my head around this news, I am trying to find comfort in the fact that we do still have some time and we have loads and loads of memories. I am going to share some now.
<– This picture is of Snuff and D.O.G. a few weeks after she choose us and we brought her home.
The picture of the right demonstrates he obsession with “balls” and playing fetch.
I will upload a video to youtube later this week of Snuff and her “pet rock” (apparently I don’t have the right subscription to put it here…..smh and another about her making small talk with me.
We were trying to figure out why snuff “put herself in timeout”
She didn’t. She was using her body to keep the other animals away from HER BALL…smh
Speaking of other animals…. Yes I have a few. Thing 2 was giving them treats to try to get a “family picture.” From left to right there is Neewollah (black cat), D.O.G (boston bull dog), Beauty (other black cat and neewollah’s sister), Snuff , and finally Foxy (the White sheep?..I mean cat) of the family.
I think the only think Snuff cares about more than her ball is Thing 2. They are Best friends.
Thank you for letting me introduce you to SNUFF. I am sure I will be posting more pictures, stories, and videos in the future.
As shitty as this news has been, I do feel blessed to have a “warning” if you will.
For all of you that consider your pets your family too, is there anything you can recommend to ease the pain it causes you? Is there anything you do or have done to “keep them close”? For example, I will be getting a tattoo of her pawprint. I found a “memory box” picture frame with a place for not only her pictures, but her collar as well.
Oh Grace, I’m so sorry to read this. She sure landed on her paws finding you to be her Mommy. I bet there’s never been a dull moment for either of you and I hope the coming months bring many more memories.
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I’m so very sorry Grace!! Lossing a beloved creature is the same as lossing a family member. I’ve been there twice. I have made a look alike pillow for each pet by taking a good photo and having it printed onto fabric. My friend had a life size cardboard cutout made of her furr baby. You’ll definitely be in my thoughts. Hoping you and yours can keep SNUFF comfortable for as long as possible. Be sure to thank that beautiful being for being so fun, joyful and available to you over the years!!
So very sorry Grace. You are in my thoughts. Jennifer (www.MSLuckyDuck.wordpress.com)
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I like the pillow idea ty. I think the life size would make me angry that its not her though, if that makes any sense. I have also heard that getting another dog may help, but I don’t think I can go that route now either. I may have to for D.O.G…. but for now, lots of steak dinners
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Sorry to everybody in your house Grace!! Such a loss for everyone!!
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What a beautiful fur family. So sorry to read this. Take care in preparation.
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Oh Grace, I am so sorry. I’ve heard “hemangiosarcoma” too often.
It’s times like this that remind us how the food, shelter, and love we give them is so small compared to the love they give us in return.
Please give Snuff a hug for me.
I wish I could recommend something that would help but all I’ve ever found that helps the pain is time, and even then it never really goes away. As you already know, as you knew from the beginning, Snuff will live in your heart forever.
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news like this certainly puts things in perspective and makes all the other drama in my life seem minute. Im grateful that I still have some time and intend to make the most of it! You are absolutely correct when you say the necessities we give them are small compared to what they give us. TY!
It’s gonna take me a bit of time for the punching the nurse story, no i did not actually punch her, I did however ask her if she would like to step outside.
I still feel that her behavior was horrific, but again even that seems small at the moment.
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Oh god, this is terrible. Sending positive vibes your way.
We’re never ready for sth like this, are we?
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TY Bojana!
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I am so sorry to hear this news Grace. I knew you were waiting for the results and were cautiously optimistic. This is devestting.i hope whatever time you have left with Snuff is filled with joy and memories that will sustain you in your grief when the inevitable comes. So sad 😞😭!
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I had already commented, as you saw, but wanted to share with you two things that were really helpful as my Kaiser was 130 pounds. We had a ‘help em up’ https://helpemup.com/ to help the boys get him outside to go potty and before that we had cut the sides out of a garment bag and wrapped it around him to help them get him up and out. We thought originally it was his leg so that’s why we went that route. But both those things helped immensely. Tramadol seemed to help with pain. And when he wouldn’t drink I gave him homemade chicken broth. I have other tips but now I’m all teary again, someday these tears will stop, so I’ll just leave those. I’m here if you have questions or just need to talk. ♥️
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TYSM! I’m sorry that you are crying, I promise you are not alone. I felt so bad when you lost Kaiser and to be honest cried for you too. I appreciate the link. I had to use a blanket and create a sling when we took her in and picked her up. At the vet they used a stretcher (I’m greatful that had one but cant get that image out of my head….smh
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There are no right words to say here. It’s so damn unfair. Be gentle with yourself.
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Oh no, I am so, so sorry. That’s such heartbreaking news. I’m glad that in a way you have that warning so you can make the most of this time, however long that is. Thinking of you & that your lovely girl, give her a hug from all us of here xxxxx
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TY CAZ!…. I won’t stop hugging her 🙂
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This sucks! I know you know I know everything that comes with news like this and all I can say is – it sucks. If you can – give her CBD oil! My parent dog passed from cancer this past summer and the CBD really did provide him with relief. I would love to send you some of the stuff we give our dogs. If you still have my phone number shoot me a text with your address:).
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Sorry to hear that you had to go through this too 😦 I talked with another friend about cbd oil tonight too and it does sound like i should be looking into it. I sent you a text with my address, I probably should have added a hello too….smh…..
On a different note I have told you before that you are such an inspiration to me, I am loving your videos and your determination with your yoga poses.
Thank you Meg!
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Oh Grace, I’m so sorry to hear about Snuff. I’m sure she knows how very much she’s loved, and that you’ll continue to make those memories. One of the things that I did with my little girl I lost was to get one of those garden stone kits at one of the craft stores (it has plaster that you mix and pour into the form) and put her paw prints in it. When I was digging up my garden spot, she thought I was digging it up for her, and spent a lot of time in it, so we wrote ‘Cindy’s Garden’ on the stone. I ended up bringing it into the house eventually, but I have her paw prints forever on that stone now. I wish I had some way to make it easier for you, but really, all you can do is allow yourself to grieve, appreciate the time you have (and have had) together, and realize that you have given her a wonderful life full of love. Sending hugs, sweet friend.
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Lol Cindy’s Garden… I love that! I love the paw print in plaster idea. I had thought about it and forgot, ordering a kit now. Ty Terri!
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I hope the kit works well for you. It’s been a real treasure for me. Little Cindy Lou has been gone for almost 10 years, but she’s still in my heart and her paw prints are still on that garden stone in my office.
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I’m so very VERY sorry. I am in tears. You never get over losing a pet. They come to us, loving us unconditionally. It takes us many years to learn how to love like they do. The frame is an excellent idea. When we had to put down our dog, the pain from her cancer was too much, she was such a love. Still breaks my heart. We had the clinic send her to be cremated and when I went in to pick up her ashes they handed me a small plaque (nothing fancy) with her footprint in it! It is so special to me! I’ve held that for comfort so many times. I bought a small kit, a stepping stone kit, incase I ever need to do one myself. With my oldest of the current two dogs, it may be sooner than later. 😢😔☹️ My family has a pet cemetery on our family farm site. We keep it up with a fence and crosses… it helps. Nothing takes the pain away but the good memories are worth the pain. Again, so sorry…
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TY for commenting Kim. I was thinking of having her buried at my house, but I don’t know if I could do that and what if I moved?!?!? I think we will end up going the cremation route when the time comes. I have heard that you can have some of the ashes mixed in with tattoo ink too. Maybe I am going over the top, but I am grasping at straws.
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You will do what you feel is right! You can get the ashes turned into a piece of jewelry, a pendant or paper weight or something, it’s the route I’d have gone if not for the pet cemetery. Just let it go for now and enjoy SNUFF. There is no way to prepare. So f*cking unfair! Damn it!
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Awww 😢😢😢 Thank you so much fot sharing these special pictures of your furry friends. I have amassed several memory boxes in my china cabinet through the years. I’ve always gotten pawprints printed, and kept momentos and collars with their ashes. A little display for each, central in the house so they can always be with us. 😔
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Ty for letting me share and for your comments
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Thanks so much for introducing us to your pets. They are beautiful. Very sorry to hear the news. Sending warm hugs to you and Snuff.
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ty 🙂
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I am so sorry to read this Grace. I have lost a beloved pet before and it really hurts as bad as losing loved one. I mean seriously, our pets do become so much more and end up being more like another family member that we treasure. Thank you for sharing beautiful animals! I honestly love animals more than people!!
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I’m so sorry to hear this–she’s such a beautiful dog. Whenever we’ve lost a pet over the years, we create a photo collage. We just lost our 14 year old cat, and our vet sent us a condolence card–he really is the best. It makes a tremendous difference when you have a compassionate vet.
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I’m sorry about your fur baby. I think a photo collage is in order here too.
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Oh Grace, my heart is breaking for you. I am so sorry. Our girls (2 dogs and 2 cats) are our babies and I know what it is to love your fur babies so completely. I wish I had some wise words, but all I can so is send so much love.
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I appreciate the sentiments Susan. Thank you for reading and letting me share that part of me with you. 🙂
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