Do you remember when you were a child and could not wait to grow up or get older? Be honest, I think everyone felt that at one point. Then almost overnight, you became an adult. I know that it doesn’t feel like that when you are going through your pre 18 years, but when you are in your 40’s looking back at the things you’ve done in your life, it sure seems like it’s gone pretty quickly. I graduated high school, had and raised children. ( I’m even a grandma now) I’ve been married …..and divorced. Bought and sold a car (or two)…hell bought and sold a house or two. I’ve traveled to far away places, jumped out of a perfectly good airplane….The list goes on and on.
I have also lost many people that I’ve cared about. I’ve held and comforted people while they were suffering, and tried to help them up after their loss.
My point is that I feel like I have done MOST of the things that adults are expected to do. Don’t get me wrong, I am sure I still have a lot to do with my time on Earth. I think my ‘confusion’ or quandary is that I never thought that one day I would be ‘parenting my parents.’
During the last couple of years, more and more frequently both of my parents have begun to rely on me. ….ALOT (Sometimes I feel like I’m being given chores AGAIN) Sometimes I think, OH My GOD you’ve got to be kidding me?!?!?! and then OTHER times ( like when I go to yet another classmate’s parents funeral ) I realize I would move heaven and earth to keep them around as long as possible.
I saw a meme or something on facebook one day that said, “when you lose your parents, you are an orphan. When you lose your spouse you are a widow. When you lose a child there is no word for it, just like there are no words to describe the pain.” I also don’t believe there is a word for the child that parents their parents. I wasn’t “in a hurry” to get to THIS part of life.
My mother has Dementia/ Alzheimer’s.
About a year ago, my father was told that he was going blind.
I am in a “new” phase of my life, that I was not prepared for.
I miss both of my parents dearly, but am fortunate I never had to deal with this “phase” of life because they both went quick. Talk about conflicting emotions!
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It will be challanging, indeed. Have they considered paying sb to tend to their needs? You need to take care of yourself.
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No they haven’t. They moved closer to me so I can help more
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I know, but still. You’ve taken more than you can chew.
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Your parents are so fortunate to have you Grace. I know it’s hard to believe, but there are a lot of older adults who can’t depend on their children to help them out at all. For now, my hubby, brother and I are all more than willing to help our parents out, but they’re so darned independent they won’t let us do much of anything for them. I’m grateful they’re able to be independent, but I really do wish they’d let us do things to make their lives easier. Hope you’re staying as well as possible sweet friend. Hugs!
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Oh Grace I cannot imagine the stress this must have put on you. I just want to make sure you take good care of you and I know this will be a difficult road to walk………..sending you love!
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Ty Wendi! How have you been?
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I am doing ok, thank you so much for asking Grace!
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That’s certainly a lot on your plate. I’m so lucky that the most I have to do for mine is show them how to use “the Zoom” or reset their Facebook password; otherwise, they’re healthy and happy, thank goodness. Make sure you take time to care for yourself too:-)
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Glad to hear your parents are happy and healthy! I really shouldn’t complain. My parents are great people. It would be 10x harder if they weren’t. I’m getting better at my ‘time management’ as well, I just wasnt ready, but then I guess you never are
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Oh, I didn’t consider it complaining, not by a long shot–it’s just reality. I expect it will happen to me one day too, and I doubt I’ll be prepared either.
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Ah but I was complaining….at least a little
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