Day One

Can you tell me why you are here?

Honestly, I’m not sure. I just knew that I couldn’t be THERE.

Are you safe?

You’re going to need to be more specific with that question. I mean at the moment I have absolutely no energy or emotion so a field mouse could kick my ass, but do I think that’s going to happen? No. So I guess I’m safe. Also, I don’t really have to go back, so I guess I am safe there too. The thing I am really struggling with is my own brain. I can not seem to get the would have, could have, and should have’s to stop.

How did you get here?

I drove.

Was that a good idea?


I will not claim that it was a good idea, but it was a better idea than me staying where I was.

Why did you leave?

Because I couldn’t answer the question, why should I stay?

Our Last conversation was:

You’re really leaving because I am playing a porn game?

Yes

Unbelievable!

No comment

When will you be bringing the dogs back?

I will drop them off on Tuesday.

Well why don’t you just wait until Thursday?!

Shrug/ Ok.

(It took me several trips to get this weeks things loaded into my car. Another couple to load the dogs, and the microwave dinner I had just finished nuking. But that was it. A few trips, no more words, no tears, no regrets. just a deep breath and a few steps.)

Why are you getting up? Where are you going?

  1. Because I don’t really know. and 2. Well, I guess the answer is kind of the same.

What’s next? I really don’t know.