While I am happy to report that I did not have any surgeries last year. Let that sink in…. ZERO… not even one!!!!. ( If I haven’t mention before, I am 48 and have had more than 50 surgeries.) So ZERO is an excellent number! Alas, I am still Ms. Graceful…NOT, and I do have some injuries to report.
A Birthday Concussion
I don’t think I was awake for even an hour before I knocked myself out…. literally! I was standing in the kitchen, maybe pre-coffee? when I noticed that Einstein had taken out BOTH the recycling and the garbage. Of course he didn’t replace the bags, but he actually took BOTH of them without me nagging for days….This was huge! Happy Birthday to me!!! I don’t know if that thought had even sunk in before I slipped on the garbage can lid that he left on the floor and felt myself falling into the kitchen table, then the bar stool, and eventually landing on floor and passing out. Of course my head was the collision point for each surface. I’m not sure how long I was unconscious.
When I came to, I couldn’t see straight, the pain in my head was horrendous, and I began vomiting. I crawled to the freezer and put ice on my head until the world stopping spinning. After some time, I was able to clean up the mess I had made and messaged a couple of people that I had fallen and hit my head. Would they mind messaging me in a couple hours to make sure I was still awake? I even attempted to smh….FUCK that hurt!!!!!
I have had more than my share of concussions over the years, so I knew the drill. Don’t let the patient fall asleep and every hour or so ask them if they know their name etc. My vision appeared to be fine, so I spent the rest of the day watching tv and making small laps around the inside of the house trying to stay awake. Apparently “the drill” is an OLD drill. The new treatment for a concussion is lots of sleep!!!!! NO TV, NO COMPUTER, NO READING, JUST BRAIN REST!!!! Huh?….. Oh an apparently you should go to the hospital immediately if you are vomiting or lose consciousness. After two trips to the hospital for MRI’s, fluids, antibiotics, and pain killers I am now educated. I am also educated on the treatment of neurogenic fever….. SMH (it doesn’t hurt anymore)
Happy Thanksgiving to me?
Last year, Einstein and I hosted Thanksgiving at our (his) house. Our new puppy, Lady, woke me up at 6 am barking that she wanted to go outside. She immediately ran to the bedroom door and I followed to let her out. When I opened the bedroom door, she stopped, I DIDN’T! I tripped over her headfirst into the wall. and down I went ….again. THIS time, I didn’t lose consciousness, but there was lots of blood and I did require a trip to immediate care for stitches in my forehead. It took us over an hour to find one that was open, and the wait was more than 5 hours….. UGH…. Overall though we were all able to spend parts of the day together and my entire family (including Einstein) pitched in.
Can you guess what happened next?
Seriously try to guess…. I bet you can….
MORE STITCHES!!!!!
I was supposed to leave for Colorado the next morning so of course my house had to be spotless before I left. That sentence doesn’t even sound logical but somewhere in my brain it is….. The house must be cleaned before you go on a trip!!!!!! I don’t try to fight it anymore, it is what it is. I had also been cooking meals for Einstein to reheat while I was out of town. (this is so my kitchen is in one piece when I get home, not because I am nice) My suitcase was packed and sitting by the door. I was exhausted, but All that was left to do, was to feed the two of us and the dogs.
I cut the lid off of the can of dog food and placed it on a paper towel on the counter……, just as the doorbell rang signaling the pizza I had ordered for dinner had arrived. After answering the door, I carried the pizza into the kitchen looking for a place to put it on the counter.
Let me just scrunch up this paper towel ( the one with the lid on it) and throw it away…..
HOLY FUCK DID THAT HURT…..and SO MUCH BLOOD!!!!!!! Maybe the sounds that came out of my mouth were screams? I thought for sure I cut the tip of my finger off.
Thankfully I did not. Again, this required a trip to an immediate care. Fortunately, when you have blood spurting out of your finger you can skip the waiting room.

9 stitches this time
(compared to the 6 in my head)
The whole procedure was completed in less than 2 hours, the main complication being trying to control the amount of blood I was losing.
I still don’t have feeling in my finger, but I have been able to start writing with my right hand again. (on the computer and with a pen)
Here is hoping that 2022 is the year without more injury!