APAD Day ..What day is it anyway?!?!?

I wish I were kidding

My mom was discharged on Friday. They really couldn’t do much more for her there anyway considering the whole facility is on lockdown because of a covid outbreak.  Yay for home therapy?!?!

Before my mom could be released though, we had to build a couple of handicap ramps to get into the house. Of course this occurred over several of the coldest days of the year. FUN! I really shouldn’t complain though, because Einstein did most of the work on the ramp while I moved furniture and boxes around in the garage and house so that both were wheelchair accessible. (I got to defrost inside when I couldn’t handle the cold)

I went to a DAV meeting with my Dad.  What the fuck is a DAV meeting?  Good question!  Is it sad that I still can’t really tell you even after going?  The next one is on St. Patrick’s day and alcohol and a hotel room will be involved…that could be fun though….

I learned a new phrase “snow squall”.  On the way home from the DAV meeting my phone was blowing up for almost an hour with urgent weather alerts warning of an impending snow squall in my city. What the fuck is a snow squall? My answer is “Something I never need to experience again, although fortunately I did live to tell about it.” In short the roads were already wet, then the temperature rapidly dropped and the sky opened up dropping snow that was being blown around at 35-50 degrees on roads that had now turned to ice with zero visibility…. hmm I guess it is easier to call it a snow squall?

I got completely baked. A couple times even. While it’s not that I have never smoked pot before, it’s never really been “my thing”. This week though, it has been my thing.

As usual, I’ve got lots to write about but have literally not had one moment to myself since I last wrote. Tomorrow I will finally have some time to myself. It’s Tysabri day though so I may end up sleeping the day away. We shall see.

While I haven’t been able to tell you what day it was for the last couple weeks, I do know that tomorrow is Monday. Next week is going to be just as busy beginning tomorrow morning with my Tysabri infusion. Usually, I sleep on infusion days. I am hoping tomorrow is one of the rare times I don’t.

I hope all is going well for all of you and that if you are swamped it’s doing something that you enjoy. Til next time

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APAD Day 48 …. Showing my ass….a little

Why do so many people think that freedom of speech means freedom of consequences? For the record, it doesn’t.

I’ve been on social media a lot this week, posting status updates about my mom, going through and responding to emails about too many topics to cover, etc. To be honest my first impulse is to scream shut the fuck up you spoiled self indulgent assholes, but that would make me no better than the ones whining, tweeting, or whatever else they are doing to show their asses.

The airline example:

Almost everyday I see an article about someone getting being thrown off an airplane for being loud, disruptive, or refusing to wear a mask. What the fuck is wrong with you? What gives you the right to cause so much stress to other people. Can you take a second and be grateful that we have the ability to fly? For the people that refuse to wear a mask, the answer is simple…don’t fly. I don’t like masks, I don’t think anyone really does. I honestly don’t think they can prevent the spread of covid…maybe they help, maybe they don’t, but the law is the law. Standing up and whining that you don’t like it is childish, but more importantly it causes so much discomfort for other people. Please sit down and shut up!

I read another article about a woman who wants to sue the airline because they serve nuts on airplanes and she is allergic to them….so don’t fly?!?!?!? Why do so many people think it’s ok to assholes?

This week I have been overwhelmed with phone calls, inconsistent information etc. When I couldn’t handle it anymore I removed myself from the equation. “I’m having a bad day today, can we do this another day, please?” usually followed with TY, Have a good day! It’s really not that hard people.

I’m not saying that people don’t have a right to get upset or vent, but please take a minute to think about the consequences of how you are doing it. Is there a more effective way that doesn’t suck other people into your bullshit?…(says the girl who wrote a post about how much insurance sucks)

Let’s look at that for a minute. I wrote a post about something I am struggling with. A Post! I didn’t call anyone names, I didn’t burn or destroy anything. I asked people to be aware. I asked for advice. Maybe I’m not doing it right either, but I’m trying. I’m trying to respect others. I’m trying not to be an asshole. I’m trying not to be part of the problem.

APAD Day 47 Riding in a different seat

Today was my first time as a legit passenger in an ambulance…. PASSENGER NOT PATIENT.

Whenever I think about or see an ambulance, the hair on my arm stands up and I get a sick feeling in my gut KNOWING someone is having a really really bad day and I feel for them. Today was different.

My mom was transferred from the hospital to a rehabilitation facility near their home. There was no rush, no pain, no impending doom. There was a student EMT on the rig today, so there were a lot of questions being asked and answered, including some of my own. I have so much paperwork and so many thoughts to process so I’m gonna end there for now.

Apad day 46 I need sleep

Maybe it’s the stress of the last week..maybe it’s the constant but rotating pain in back keeping me awake all night…maybe it’s because it’s been 4 weeks since my last infusion..maybe I’m just tired??? Honestly it doesn’t matter…I just need sleep

APAD Day 45 Maybe I’m hammered?

I wrote the following paragraph (not this one) while I was at the same hospital my mom is currently at. I was ‘drugged’ on xanax to get into that dreaded MRI tube and I was worried that I would be sleeping for the rest of the day. So I thought I should write something just in case. I was also trying NOT to sneak upstairs (although my mind was arguing that it was a good idea)

Today was mri number 5879…maybe that’s a slight exaggeration but at the rate of 4 a year..they do add up. I only took one Xanax today which is huge for me. Now I’m waiting on the disk. My mom is in the same hospital but on a different floor. I’m not sure if the drug is giving me courage to attempt to sneak up to her room or if it’s why even standing up feels like so much work I’m still sitting in the chair waiting on the disk. The longer this takes the more I want to bolt. I could always blame the drugs right?…I wonder if I would be as fast on my feet (with my words) while drugged though….now I want to test it…lol…..5 more minutes then I go?

I don’t think I waited 5 minutes, I went to the desk asked for the disk again figuring if they didn’t have it I would be back tomorrow to pick it up. Yay they had it. Einstein was waiting for me in the car with lunch and we came home.

After I felt a little “less fuzzy” I talked to the case manager at the hospital about my mom’s transfer to a rehab facility. Actually I just asked her NOT to do it today, because I couldn’t be there. If all goes well, they will let me ride with her in the ambulance to the new facility and that will be tomorrow……? Fingers crossed.

I can tell you one thing for sure, I don’t think I’m ‘stoned’ anymore, but I really don’t have a care in the world at the moment.