It’s hard to believe that it’s been over a month since we’ve talked……
Who am I kidding, I talk to you everyday?!!??!
If I really think about it, I guess it also hasn’t been a month since I’ve seen you. I have 1000’s of pictures, both physical ones and all of those images and memories of us and our 30 years of friendship that are burned in my mind.
Hmmm in reality, it hasn’t even been a month since I have heard your voice. (I have never been more thankful for the technology of voicemails and videos!!!!)
SO WHY DOES IT STILL HURT SO BAD?!?!?!? I feel like I have a huge hole in my heart, yet my heart is so full of you.
FUCK CANCER! Fuck all the pain I watched you endure! Fuck all the pain I still feel!!!!
Well now that the emotional shit is out of the way… ( NOT) We should probably catch up…
Oh wait! I’m mad at you!
I don’t care if it makes any sense!
I’m mad that you aren’t here! I’m mad that my RIDE OR DIE friend DIED! How could you do this to me?!?!?!?
We are supposed to turn 50 next year!!! Remember the party of a lifetime?!?!!? So where the hell are you?!?!?!?
When I opened wordpress today, I had every intention of “catching up with you”. I wanted to tell you that my surgery went ok. The new MS drug hasn’t hurt me, I don’t think…, I finally kicked the crazy bitch out of my house, although she is threatening to sue me…smh, and so many more things, but then the emotions came pouring out.
I’m sorry. I miss you.
I’ve been looking at memorial tattoo idea’s to add to our “eyes in the back of our head” tattoos. I found one that says, “You may be gone from my sight, but you are never gone from my heart.” , which I kind of liked. I also thought about tattooing the last note you wrote me, under the eyeballs. With as emotional as I have been, I know that I need to wait a little longer. Maybe I do that for the big 50?
Rest in Peace my friend!