APAD Day 48 …. Showing my ass….a little

Why do so many people think that freedom of speech means freedom of consequences? For the record, it doesn’t.

I’ve been on social media a lot this week, posting status updates about my mom, going through and responding to emails about too many topics to cover, etc. To be honest my first impulse is to scream shut the fuck up you spoiled self indulgent assholes, but that would make me no better than the ones whining, tweeting, or whatever else they are doing to show their asses.

The airline example:

Almost everyday I see an article about someone getting being thrown off an airplane for being loud, disruptive, or refusing to wear a mask. What the fuck is wrong with you? What gives you the right to cause so much stress to other people. Can you take a second and be grateful that we have the ability to fly? For the people that refuse to wear a mask, the answer is simple…don’t fly. I don’t like masks, I don’t think anyone really does. I honestly don’t think they can prevent the spread of covid…maybe they help, maybe they don’t, but the law is the law. Standing up and whining that you don’t like it is childish, but more importantly it causes so much discomfort for other people. Please sit down and shut up!

I read another article about a woman who wants to sue the airline because they serve nuts on airplanes and she is allergic to them….so don’t fly?!?!?!? Why do so many people think it’s ok to assholes?

This week I have been overwhelmed with phone calls, inconsistent information etc. When I couldn’t handle it anymore I removed myself from the equation. “I’m having a bad day today, can we do this another day, please?” usually followed with TY, Have a good day! It’s really not that hard people.

I’m not saying that people don’t have a right to get upset or vent, but please take a minute to think about the consequences of how you are doing it. Is there a more effective way that doesn’t suck other people into your bullshit?…(says the girl who wrote a post about how much insurance sucks)

Let’s look at that for a minute. I wrote a post about something I am struggling with. A Post! I didn’t call anyone names, I didn’t burn or destroy anything. I asked people to be aware. I asked for advice. Maybe I’m not doing it right either, but I’m trying. I’m trying to respect others. I’m trying not to be an asshole. I’m trying not to be part of the problem.

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APAD Day 47 Riding in a different seat

Today was my first time as a legit passenger in an ambulance…. PASSENGER NOT PATIENT.

Whenever I think about or see an ambulance, the hair on my arm stands up and I get a sick feeling in my gut KNOWING someone is having a really really bad day and I feel for them. Today was different.

My mom was transferred from the hospital to a rehabilitation facility near their home. There was no rush, no pain, no impending doom. There was a student EMT on the rig today, so there were a lot of questions being asked and answered, including some of my own. I have so much paperwork and so many thoughts to process so I’m gonna end there for now.

APAD Day 43 Breathe in Hold it Breathe out

Deep breath in…

Hold it

Deep breath out

I just got off the phone with my mom, and a doctor from the hospital.

Deep breath in

Hold it

Deep breath out

I didn’t realize I had been holding my breath for the last week. Damn it really has been a week. One more time…

Deep breath in

Hold it

Deep breath out.

Quick recap of what I have shared so far in 5:50 am phone call and Priorities.

Last Saturday, my mom fell and split her head open. She was rushed to the hospital in an ambulance. No one was allowed to see her. She has staples in her head and a serious sprain to her right foot/ankle. The initial scans of her brain came back negative for a brain bleed. The doctors could not send her home though because all things considered it wasn’t safe for her to be alone for more than a few moments, and we were not able to provide the care she needed. We talked about having her transferred to an inpatient rehabilitation hospital for a few days after the weekend, to assist my mom and the rest of my family with developing a safer living environment for her. * I will come back to this topic, since I have not talked about it before.

While ‘waiting’ in the hospital last weekend, my mom complained that her arms hurt and her fingers were growing numb. The doctors were also concerned with her confusion. Was this dementia? Did she have more injuries? After completing an MRI of her neck, they found that not only did she have spinal stenosis, but she had multiple fractures in her neck that would require surgery to fuse her spine. If left untreated another fall could lead to complete paralysis.

OK then do the damn surgery!!!!!!!

It should be that simple shouldn’t it? I wasn’t/ isn’t. As I mentioned before my mom has Dementia. She didn’t understand why she was in the hospital, how would she understand surgery? THAT was a game changer. The hospital realized that she couldn’t provide consent for surgery, that would fall to me. My test for covid came back negative, I had been taking antibiotics for this damn sinus infection for a couple of days, there was no reason (other than their hospital policies that restrict visitors) not to allow me to see her. I tried to explain that I wasn’t just a visitor, I wasn’t even just her daughter. I am and was her Power of Attorney. Most days I am my mom’s voice and ears. I’m her teacher and advocate. They finally let me come up with my Dad.

It’s a Miracle!!!!

No it’s not really. Within a couple hours of our visit my mom was able to grasp what had and was happening to her. She was able to tell the doctors (in her own words) that she understood she needed surgery and would have to go to a rehab facility afterwards. It wasn’t a miracle. It was experience. Lots of learning and mistakes, and time. My mom isn’t a 72 year old woman on the inside. She struggles to learn and retain new information. But if you talk to her slowly, directly facing her and allow her to ask all the questions she needs to she is able to grasp new things to a degree. After lots of repetition in small amounts she does understand.

The doctors and staff were amazed at the ‘transformation’ that happened while we were there. Again, not a miracle, experience and adaptation. I’m not really mad at them. I was, but I am not. Dementia is hard. It’s scary and it’s hard, even for those of us that deal with it daily. I am very grateful that they allowed us to visit. They allowed us to be with her before, during, and after surgery. They even tried to learn how to set up a video call to me to help when she was agitated or confused.

Not out of the woods yet

The surgery went well. My mom understands that she had surgery because she fell. She knows that she will be going to a new hospital soon, and she knows That “we’ve got this.” There is a different hospitalist on staff this weekend. I know that the nursing staff during the last week has heavily noted her chart that she does better when she can ‘see’ us. I pray they accept this and continue to allow video calls or a visit. I am spending the day trying to prepare for the next set of hurdles that I am sure are coming.

So much love

I was getting an overwhelming amount of messages and phone calls about my mom. I finally broke down and made a short post on her facebook account to keep people somewhat updated. The challenge is not to overshare, but at the same time stress the importance of letting her recover.

Breathe in

Hold it

Breathe out

APAD Day 38 $1.72 to pee

Have you ever heard of a foley catheter? It is an indwelling catheter that is a attached to an external urine collection bag. If you have ever been hospitalized and needed a catheter this is the kind they used. Not fun right? RIGHT! Fortunately, they also make one time use catheters. They are individually packaged. When you need to urinate, you insert the single use catheter while sitting on the toilet. Your bladder is emptied, then you remove it and discard it. YAY!!!!…. or not.

Single use catheters are expensive! $1.72 each to be exact. So if I have to pee 10 times a day that’s $17.20 a day to pee or $516.00 a month. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!?!?!

The reason this comes up is because I have Medicare and they have decided that I am allowed to pee free of charge 6x a day but no more. If I have to pee more, I’m gonna have to pay for it. $206.40 a month to be exact. Yeah that’s not going to happen. I do have other choices though

1. Reuse the single use catheters ( Mind you the box they come in, the patient information, and just about every website that sells catheters STRONGLY insists that they are not to be reused.) Medicare even has a commercial on tv that a person should be able to use a new catheter each and every time they urinate. (Then why the hell won’t you pay for it?!?!!?)
2. I can use a foley catheter (walk around with a bag of pee strapped to my leg everyday) for a couple weeks a month when I run out.
3. Try to spread awareness of this issue, hoping it will make a change.
4. Try to enlist others to spread awareness as well.

I’ve chosen to do all four of the choices that I feel I have. I am also going to attempt to contact Cure Medical to see if they have any patient assistance programs. https://curemedical.com/contact-us/

If you are able, please share this story or blog, tell someone the story, something. It would mean a great deal to me if you would.

Do you have any other thoughts on how to work around this problem?

APAD DAY 37 ATM Asshole

Is there such a thing as Atm etiquette?

Let me be more specific. Is there etiquette to be used when using a drive up atm? (I’m willing to bet your mind immediately flashed to the jackass that spends 20 minutes at the atm while you are trying to make your 5 second transaction on your lunch break or while racing to another appointment.) If it didn’t, you are among the lucky ones.

Today I was accidentally that asshole.

As I went to enter the line for the ATM, I realized that 1. I forgot to sign a check I was depositing and 2. it was made out to my maiden name and would require 2 signatures (maiden and married) and 3. Where the fuck is the pen?!?! Shit! I tried to move my car to the right of the actual line so that I wasn’t “actually in line”, but there was no where to go. I said “SORRY”, to no one in particular and continued to look for a pen. I put my hazards on hoping anyone that wanted to get in line behind me would feel free to go around. Ok I found the pen, signed the check and proceeded to actually get in line. I HOPED the fact that I did this in front of the two cars that were ‘kind of’ behind me didn’t make me still the asshole. But there really was no hope.

The atm machine may be the slowest machine I have ever used. (I pushed the button and it took 30 seconds or more to respond) Now there definitely was a line. Next were the new rules on the atm that said I could only deposit 30 items at one time (I had 32) so that would make me start the whole deposit process over again….smh Did that mean I should be courteous and leave the line to go to the rear since I was taking so long? I don’t know, what are the Rules?

My rant is just that, a rant. NO I don’t think there should be MORE RULES or laws, but there should be ‘etiquette’ and people should take a minute to think about how their behavior could be affecting others. It just might make the world a better place.

So I’m back to the question is there etiquette for using a drive up ATM? For me personally, I that any signing etc should be completed before you even THINK about getting in line. I also feel that if you know you have several transactions, try to break them up into smaller ones or use the ATM at a not peak time. Again that’s just me.

In your opinion what is the proper procedure?

I did end up pulling away to complete the other transaction on another day. I took the featured picture today while no one was around to illustrate where I was actually parked yesterday.