Fuck the hastas

For several years now, my girls and I have had a “Family” group chat on Facebook Messenger. ( just the 3 of us) I think I started it to try to facilitate more conversations between the two of them. While I am very close with both of my kids, they were not “friends”. They love each other and always have, but they focused more on their differences than similarities. Creating the chat was a great idea! I think it has allowed all of us to be more connected. Someone writes something in it every day. Sometimes it’s just the two of them, sometimes we are all there. More on that another time though.

Yesterday, Thing Two and her boyfriend began their move to Tennessee.

They where hauling their motorcycles and tools in their trailer while another friend was hauling their furniture in his semi. When we said our Goodbyes, I reminded her to let me know when they made it so I wasn’t constantly bombing her with “Are you there yet?” messages.

I have not been to the new house yet,(I’ve only seen pictures and videos, but Google tells me it should take 10 1/2 hours (10 hours and 26 mins to be exact). I know that pulling a trailer will take a bit longer, so I waited until 6 O’clock to ask how they were doing. She responded that they had gotten stuck in some severe thunderstorms and flooding, but were doing ok.

At 9 O’clock, I messaged asking, “Are you there yet?” She responded that they had gotten caught in another storm, which slowed them down, but they were 33 minutes away….. “Almost as bad as our 16 day road trip on for my 16th Birthday Mom” ( that’s also another story) .

“Ok kiddo, I love you! I’m going to bed. Be safe and don’t forget to text when you’ve made it”.

At 9:30 they text came in that they had made it. That’s all I needed to hear!

Thing One (my other daughter) had been “radio silent” yesterday. Sunday’s are the one day that both her and her husband are home all day with the boys without having to be somewhere else. When I woke up this morning, there were 20 messages between Thing One and Thing Two. I quickly scanned them before heading for coffee. One of the messages said, “Fuck the hastas”.


“Fuck the hastas”, meant… “Fuck the Hostas” (plants).

Apparently their friend had some difficulty getting the trailer into the driveway, during which her boyfriend said, “Fuck the Hostas.” I mentioned that I have not actually seen the house right?………. just the listing, so I pulled it up on Zillow…..

There are no hostas in the outside pictures……….. so this began the next set of texts:

Me:  Hey kiddo?….  This is your new address right?

Thing Two:  Yes

Me:  There are no hostas?

Thing Two:  Yes I know

Me: ?????? Fuck the hostas?

Thing Two: They aren’t on our property, they were the neighbors

Me: Um, whoops?

Thing Two: Yea, we will have to speak to the neighbors

Me: ROFLMAO…………. buy them a gift card or a plant?

She didn’t respond to that other than to send me a picture of her and her boyfriend standing in their new house holding a ginormous key.

I am happy that they are having a good day. Things went smoothly and they are no longer “homeless”. I am still laughing though because another conversation we had a couple days ago was…..

Thing Two: Chewy delivered Kota’s food to our old house, what would you do?

Me: Knock on their door, apologize, and ask for the dog food (don’t just show up and take it)

Thing Two: But then I have to TALK TO THEM.

Me: Um yeah?

Thing Two: No that’s what YOU would do. I don’t want to talk to them!!!

Me: Well you did ask what I would do…..

Thank you for letting me share my story with you. I am very happy for them. I know they will resolve the hosta issue and even become friends with their entire neighborhood just as they did at their old house.

On a side note…… I probably have 100 hosta plants that I could split and deliver on my first visit..