APAD Day 48 …. Showing my ass….a little

Why do so many people think that freedom of speech means freedom of consequences? For the record, it doesn’t.

I’ve been on social media a lot this week, posting status updates about my mom, going through and responding to emails about too many topics to cover, etc. To be honest my first impulse is to scream shut the fuck up you spoiled self indulgent assholes, but that would make me no better than the ones whining, tweeting, or whatever else they are doing to show their asses.

The airline example:

Almost everyday I see an article about someone getting being thrown off an airplane for being loud, disruptive, or refusing to wear a mask. What the fuck is wrong with you? What gives you the right to cause so much stress to other people. Can you take a second and be grateful that we have the ability to fly? For the people that refuse to wear a mask, the answer is simple…don’t fly. I don’t like masks, I don’t think anyone really does. I honestly don’t think they can prevent the spread of covid…maybe they help, maybe they don’t, but the law is the law. Standing up and whining that you don’t like it is childish, but more importantly it causes so much discomfort for other people. Please sit down and shut up!

I read another article about a woman who wants to sue the airline because they serve nuts on airplanes and she is allergic to them….so don’t fly?!?!?!? Why do so many people think it’s ok to assholes?

This week I have been overwhelmed with phone calls, inconsistent information etc. When I couldn’t handle it anymore I removed myself from the equation. “I’m having a bad day today, can we do this another day, please?” usually followed with TY, Have a good day! It’s really not that hard people.

I’m not saying that people don’t have a right to get upset or vent, but please take a minute to think about the consequences of how you are doing it. Is there a more effective way that doesn’t suck other people into your bullshit?…(says the girl who wrote a post about how much insurance sucks)

Let’s look at that for a minute. I wrote a post about something I am struggling with. A Post! I didn’t call anyone names, I didn’t burn or destroy anything. I asked people to be aware. I asked for advice. Maybe I’m not doing it right either, but I’m trying. I’m trying to respect others. I’m trying not to be an asshole. I’m trying not to be part of the problem.


APAD Day 34 The Perfect Calendar?

Is there a PERFECT Calendar?

Until a year or so ago, I guess I just assumed they were one size fits all. I mean I know there are wall calendars, huge 16×20 desk calendars, pocket calendars, page a day calendars, and phone calendars, but I DIDN”T realize that there are 100’s of each type. I am still in search of the ‘perfect’ calendar.

Because I never seem to know what day it is (they all blend together) and I am always on the run or have somewhere to be, I THOUGHT purchasing a calendar would help me become more organized. Yes, I have thought about using an online calendar or my phone, BUT I want something that I can hold in my hand. Let’s just call me old school for now. I thought I had found the perfect calendar last year only to realize I needed one that covered more than 12 months, otherwise I would be carrying 2 around. I’ve tried the 24 month “pocket” calendars and they don’t have enough room to write details in their little boxes. I HATE going to stores, but purchasing a calendar online is tricky because they only show so many pictures of what the insides looks like…. So I made a list.

What are you looking for in a Calendar?

  1. Fits in my purse- This is the most important because my schedule is constantly changing so I need to have it with me all the time. 5×8 will work
  2. Displays a full month on one page (2 if open)- This is important when scheduling anything so you are not constantly thumbing back and forth between pages
  3. Room to write on each individual day- addresses, phone numbers, flight times etc
  4. More than 12 months- Makes it easier to add yearly events bdays, anniversaries, scheduling your 6 month dental visit in September for the following year.

Those a my ‘basic’ requirements in a calendar. Now how the hell do you search for that?!?!??

Google Search * 5 x 8 2 year calendars *

The first link showed a 5 year calendar but it was 8.5 x 11. :/ Since I was already at Amazon, I decided to enter the same terms in their search engine. 2 pages of the wrong size calendars, followed by the right size but only 12 months. (I learned the difference between academic and calendar year searches but still couldn’t find 24 months….ARGH! I THOUGHT I had found one that would work and ordered it. Now I know why monthly tabs are so important….smh. oh that and removable pages…FUCK! Oh well, I guess it is what it is for now.

So then I went back to talking myself into using Google Calendar more. Looking at my list of requirements above showed me that using it would technically meet all of them.

Phone Calendar

  1. It does fit in my purse (finding it in there may be another story though)
  2. displays a full month or can be viewed on the computer
  3. provides room to add details
  4. definitely more than one year

Using the Google Calendar

I do like that I always have the calendar with me. Even though entering things on my phone (with numb fingers) kind of sucks, I can just as easily enter events on my computer and view them on the phone. Many of the appointments that I have marked on the calendar are not for me, but for my parents. Some I have to be at, some I just need to be aware of for payments, or follow up etc. ( I have medical and financial power of attorney for both of them)

I made each of them a google account and gave myself access to their calendars. It’s been a learning process for sure. When I started teaching them how to use the calendars my mom was excited about feeling “in control” of something in her life. She tries very hard to enter appointments by herself but frequently selects the wrong day or an all day event. That’s okay, we are all learning. She was so excited that she began using her calendar to write down what she did for the day as well. Sucks for me trying to sort it all out, but at least she is using it. The fact that she keeps track of what she did each day may help with tracking her dementia.

I had to ad another color to know which appointments were “real”, and which ones I had to be at etc. (I’m running out of colors)

Overall, I really can’t complain about using the Google Calendar. Other than now having to find a new place to stash my mask that is easy to find in the paper calendar, but I can’t blame google for that. Heh.

A Post a day APAD Day 12 Can you help me?

“Can you help me”?

Don’t Answer that! It’s a trick question! At least for me it is. When someone, hell anyone, asks “Can you help me?” In all of two seconds I respond, “sure” or “probably”. What they don’t ask and I don’t ask myself is, “Do I want to?”. I really need to learn to start saying, “No”.

I absolutely HATE asking for help. It’s probably more that I hate NEEDING help, but either way I hate it. So when someone asks me for help, I automatically feel that it must have taken them alot to ask me and I pretty much automatically respond “Yes”.

Just say no

Grace just say no.

Grace just say no.

Do you think it will help?

Check out my New Implants!!!

OMG Grace! Is that ALL you do….. talk about your foot?

Well that’s not ALL that I talk about, but since there is not much that I can do without it  affecting me, yes I talk about my foot A LOT.  And my wheelchair, but I have that because of my foot, so I guess it’s about the same huh?

I promise to write about something other than my foot soon, but first I would like to share some updates for anyone that is interested.

0402201617First of all, I have now been casted in every different color material available.  Who would have thought that something like that would go on my list of “achievements”?!?!?0402201529

Secondly,  while there is still no end in sight about the amount of time I will be non- weight bearing and in a cast, the incisions appear to be healing well and I am no longer in much pain.

0422201927Third, while I swear I have not put any weight on my right foot, I can’t say that I haven’t been a bit self destructive during my recovery. Not only did I have a bit of an obsession with tearing apart one of my casts, but I also attempted to go down two stairs by myself and ended up being launched from the wheelchair.  Thankfully, the doctor said the x-rays showed the only damage I did was to my pride.  Yay for me!!!!

Thank you for taking the time to stop by today.  If you have a few more minutes, would you mind sharing your longest to recover from injury?  Did you follow doctor’s orders? I look forward to hearing from you!






What the hell was I thinking?


I know better!  I’ve even written about it in…. Not the Tube.   Of course, I didn’t listen to myself. SMH  Then again, when I do listen to myself, I often make bad decisions.  When your done reading and or watching please share your opinion about whether YOU think I should listen to myself.  I’m pretty sure the answer is not a simple Yes or no.

Ok, so my dumb ass not only scheduled two MRI’s for the same day, but I also attempted to do it drug free.  I will NOT be doing that again!  In fact, I’m pretty sure the hospital put a great big caution sign in my chart saying that I have to be sedated. SMH again

Thing 2 picked me up on Friday and drove me to the hospital for the procedures.  I found that she REALLY enjoys pushing me in the wheelchair.  ( into the curb, into the wall etc)  I went through my 200 question checklist about whether I had metal implants, tattoos, etc in or on my body and was surprisingly ok’d to get in the tube.  Then the nurse asked if I was claustrophobic.  Um yeah….”OH SHIT, how had I forgotten to take the medication?!!??!?”  She told me they could reschedule the MRI, or I could take the medication and wait 45 minutes for the medication to take effect.

I TOLD her I would be fine as long as the tech talked to me between pictures.  SHIT SHIT SHIT!  As she wheeled me to the dressing room to change into the scrubs they provide, I could feel my anxiety increasing, and discreetly slipped a xanax into my mouth. Work work work!

The MRI tech was back within moments to take me to the MRI room.  I’m sure the terror I was feeling (yes terror) showed on my face when he also asked me if I was claustrophobic, but I also told him I would be “ok” as long as he talked to me between pictures.  (I told him all 5x that he asked me)

I wasn’t ok.  I freaked out!  I pushed the panic button before the first set of pictures where complete.  I passed out before he pulled me out of the machine, and vomited on the floor as soon as I came to. SMH again.

Fortunately, the MRI department was very forgiving and not busy that day.  They cleaned my mess, and allowed me to clean myself up.  They told me if I wanted to take medication I still could, but I would have to wait 45 minutes for it to take effect before we could try again.  Perfect! I thought.  I would probably only need another 25 minutes to be “calmer” since I had already taken one, but the least I could do was wait 45 minutes after the ordeal I caused.  Unfortunately, they needed to see me take the medication.  Ah fuck!

Um OK.  I do know that I CAN take two pills, as I have previously been prescribed a higher dose, but I also know that it pretty much puts me ‘out’ for the evening.  So OF COURSE, I made Bad decision number 3, (if you’re counting) and took the pill.  While waiting to retry the MRI, I noticed an empty wheelchair in the hallway, and asked Thing 2 if she would like to have a race or 2.

We did.  Here is the video to the only race I may have won (my foot dropped and I think I may have pushed off).  Wheelchair race  After several races, (I encouraged other patients and visitors to get involved as well)  I did survive the two MRI’s to test for PML and am waiting to hear the results.

So what’s your opinion?  Should I listen to myself or not? 😉