A little help please

In my last post, I talked about my difficulty with getting to the bar car on Amtrak while in a wheelchair.  At this point in the trip I was pretty exhausted, and I probably drifted off to sleep.  I say probably because one minute I was alone, and the next there was a hand on my shoulder and a voice asking, ” I am going to the bar car, can I get you anything?”  The voice was coming from a fellow passenger.  Hmmm surprising. Nice, but surprising.  I said, “No, but thank you for asking.”

I was lost in thought about the seemingly selfless gesture when he returned and asked if I minded if he sat and talked.  I responded, “No, not at all.  Thank you again for your offer to get something for me.”  He seemed nice enough.  We chatted for maybe 15 mins about where we were from and where we were going.  It turns out that we were both going to Holland.  My phone rang, and I excused myself from the conversation saying that I needed to take the call.   We both said, “goodbye, enjoy your trip.”

The phone call was from my father.  “Are you still alive?”, he asked.  I told him that I had learned a lot so far, but I was exhausted and would send a text when I made it to the hotel.

Random stranger guy came back again, and AGAIN,each time sitting closer and closer to my seat offering to do more and more for me.  “My brother is picking me up from the train station, we can throw your wheelchair in the back of the truck and take you to your hotel”.  “Are you sure I can’t bring you something from the bar car?”  Then the touching began.  I didn’t say anything about the first brush across my knee.  I assumed accident.  Then he placed his hand there and didn’t move it, until I did.

EXCUSE ME?!?!  “I think we are done talking! I have told you that I have a boyfriend and don’t feel that I have encouraged this in any way, you should go back to your seat now.”  He gave me an expression that made me uncomfortable, but stood to walk away.  Before leaving he said, “well at least let me help you off the train in Holland.”  I growled, “No, thank you, I’ve got this!”

I have never been more grateful for the ability to use my legs.  Have you ever found yourself in a position that you wanted to leave, but physically could not get out of?  How would you protect yourself if you were confined to a wheelchair?  What had I gotten myself into?  What was the train station in Holland going to be like?  Indoor? outdoor?   Would there be ample lighting?  What if the Lyft driver wasn’t there when I got there?  Do you remember my post about, SOS Messaging?  I mistakenly thought that it was available on all phones.  I’ve gotten a new phone since I dropped mine in the toilet in Italy, and LG phones do not have this feature.  😦

I called Thing One and told her about my dilemma.  We agreed that she would stay on the phone with me from the time I got off the train until I was safely in the LYFT car.  I debated with myself about whether or not to involve the conductor, until random guy walked by AGAIN.  “See you in Holland”.

No more debate, I stood up and walked to the Bar Car to find the conductor.  ” I don’t know if he thinks its funny or what, but one of the other passengers has had a lot to drink and is starting to give me the creeps.  We are both getting off in Holland.  Can you please tell me when we are like 15 mins away so I can call my ride?  Also I would still like to use the lift to get off to buy myself some more time.”  Before heading back to my seat, I grabbed 3 cups of coffee.

For the last hour of the train ride either the conductor or the junior conductor walked through the car I was in every 10 or 15 mins.  As promised, 15 minutes before we were scheduled to arrive in Holland, the conductor said it was time to request my ride.  The Lyft app said the driver was 20 minutes away.  😦  Deep breath Grace you got this.

When the train arrived in the station, I hesitated to move until I saw the conductors setting up the LIFT.  Drunk guy was no where in sight, and I could see the lift driver standing by his car.  I told the conductor I felt confident that I would be fine, apologized for being any trouble, and thanked him for his help.

As the Lyft driver was loading my wheelchair into his trunk, I could see drunk guy approaching quickly.  I said, ” I don’t know him, he is NOT with me, can we go?!?!  Before he could get in the car, drunk guy said, “You be sure you take care of my friend”.  Harmless enough, but please Let’s go!!!!!!

I confirmed the hotel address with the driver, and quickly called Thing One to tell her I was ok and to ask her to text my dad.  When I hung up, the driver asked, “rough night?”  I replied, “Yeah, you could say that, and I have to be on the train again at 6:30 in the morning.” 😦  He asked, “Are you using Lyft to get to the station tomorrow?”  I responded, “Yes, it’s the only thing I could find as far as transportation.”  He advised me to start requesting a ride at least an hour before I had to be there.  Most Lyft drivers were from Grand Rapids (1/2 hour away) like himself, and I might have trouble finding a ride that early….. Oh yay.

When I arrived at the hotel, I put my bag on the wheelchair and headed for the smoker’s bench.  The desk clerk, Brent, was outside vaping.  I told him I was “the late check in”, but needed to “chill” for a few before going in.  I reached into my bag for my phone, but it wasn’t there.  Oh No! You have got to be kidding me!!!!!!  Brent let me use his phone to call mine and even walked with me around the area I was dropped off at in the parking lot.  No luck…. SON OF A …….!!!!!!!

I hoped I remembered to print all of my ticket information, but if I didn’t it was all on my phone.  I was sure I left it in the Lyft driver’s car, but how would I reach him? I spent the next 2.5 hours trying to retrieve it….smh  Did I mention it was 12 o’clock in the morning?!

Before I tell that story, I would like to ask for your opinion.  I asked earlier “Have you ever found yourself in a position that you wanted to leave, but physically could not get out of?”  Were you able to keep your composure?  How do you protect yourself if you have a physical disability?

The drunk guy was probably just that.  He was probably a nice guy even.  I think I had stronger emotions because I was out of my element so to speak.  Or maybe I under reacted?   If you would please take a minute to share your opinion/experiences with me.

Just the facts please

I know I promised to write the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.  I am working on it, but first I want to share the tips and information that I learned during my adventure, so here are the facts.

In my last post, I gave the spoiler alert that it IS possible to go from the suburbs of Chicago to Chicago via the Metra train, and from Chicago to Holland, MI and back via the Amtrak train, while remaining in a wheelchair.  Did I do it?  Kind of….

Here’s the story…..

My FIRST challenge of the day was trying to figure out how to fit the wheelchair in my car. It does fit in the trunk WITHOUT the legs on it; however, there is no way that 2 wheelchairs, “T”, and my parents and I would all fit.  Although I had access to a car that would fit both wheelchairs, I did not know if “T” would be able to transfer into the other car since the seat was higher than mine.  I worked this out removing the legs of my wheelchair, and making my mom stay at home.  (she was disappointed)

First Piece of advice—Know your equipment.  It’s size and how it works.

We arrived at the Metra station almost 25 minutes early so I could survey the area. There was some confusion as to which track the train would be departing on, (the signs said one thing, and the map said another) but since I was getting on at the end or beginning of the line, (however you look at it) there would be time to change platforms if needed.

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The sign says the opposite track

I opted to stay in the shade by the building rather than to cross to the side the sign advised.  (Yay I picked the right one)  Inkedmetra (4)_LI

 

 

When the train pulled into the station the ADA symbol for handicap accessible was clearly marked on the car.  What wasn’t clear was how I was going to get UP onto the train…

 

 

That question was quickly answered by not one but two of the conductors that got off the train to welcome me.  I must of looked nervous when I told them this was my first time traveling in a wheelchair, because they were both very quick to assure me that it was very easy and I would be an old pro, by the end of the trip.

I didn’t think to take pictures or a video of the lift at this point because I was too busy soaking it all in.  They were right though, it was easy.

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I rolled right off the lift ramp to a section of pull down seats for seniors or people in wheelchairs.

If there no one was using the seats, cyclists were able to park and tie down their bikes in front of them.

(There was a sign that clearly said they may be asked to move them if someone needed to use the seats)

I opted to stay in the wheelchair with my back to the wall of the car.

 

The bathroom was immediately to my left.  It also was wheelchair accessible, complete with a transfer seat and multiple safety bars.  I can’t speak for the position of the bars etc, as I mentioned in my last post.  I pulled as close as I could get, stood on one foot, and pivoted.  The location of the bars worked for me. 🙂

Getting INTO the bathroom was no problem.  For ME though, getting out proved to be a different story.  Again, the damn legs on the wheelchair….smh   Let me repeat that first piece of advice…. Know your equipment!!!!  I took the legs off the chair and maneuvered out of the bathroom wondering how I had gotten in there in the first place…

Check out the legs on this baby

From the front, they don’t look that cumbersome, but the side shot shows that with the legs attached, my wheelchair is as long as the kitchen table.

The train ride itself was smooth and a bit nostalgic for me.  Although a lot has changed since I rode the train to college in Chicago 20 years ago,  (they now have a rush hour QUIET car instead of a BAR CAR). The stops and sounds of the train were the same, but the scenery was so different.  I had forgotten how many times the conductors punch tickets, and that they called out the upcoming stop.

I spent most of my time talking to one of the two conductors and “people watching”.  There was a tiny altercation between two of the cyclists because one dumped the other’s bike while trying to retrieve his own, but it was over quickly.  In fact, if I made any recommendations to Metra, it would be maybe a bike rack instead of stacking, but who am I?

When the train pulled into Union Station, I waited until 90% of the people were off the train before heading for the door.  The conductor set up the lift for me, which again went very smoothly until I tried to roll off.  The “gate” that keeps you from rolling off the lift was stuck and neither of us were really sure how to operate it.  Eventually it opened and I was on my way.

Second piece of advice- allow extra time and be patient.

Rolling into the station was a work out for my arms, but it was doable.  I’m glad that I waited until the train was almost empty, because I didn’t feel rushed as I SLOWLY rolled inside.  I had plenty of time to go outside, find something to eat, and explore the different levels of Union Station.  Although all levels of the station could be accessed while in the wheelchair, the “general” signs were vague at best.  (in my opinion)  Several times I would follow a sign to go somewhere and end up at stairs or an escalator.  union station (5)

If I wasn’t able to backtrack on my own to the nearest ramp or elevator, there were plenty of people to ask for directions, both travelers and employees.

Let’s talk about ramps for a minute…. First of all…..

THERE ARE MANY!!!!

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a narrow hill road inside the forest

The more I used them the steeper they began to appear.  I was literally chanting “I think I can, I think I can” as I was climbing up the last few.

Believe it or not, going DOWN the ramps gave me more trouble.  I NEVER thought about the rug/wheel burn on your hands going downhill.

*Advice alert*— If you are “driving” a manual wheelchair….WEAR GLOVES!!!  Apparently they sell finger-less gloves for exactly this purpose.  Bonus tip- carry hand sanitizer with you, my hands were black…..

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A visual reminder to wear gloves

For the most part, even though everyone was too wrapped up in their own objectives to notice things that were happening around them, only a small number of people almost ran into me.  Those that did were quick to apologize.  Except  for the girl that turned on a dime, and tripped over my legs in the process, causing her drink to go everywhere.  I’m going with… Karma…she didn’t even apologize….smh.

I found that if I followed somewhat closely behind someone going in the same direction, even though people didn’t see me, they had already sidestepped the person they could see in turn missing me.

As I waited in the “assisted waiting area” I received a call from “T”.  She yelled, “This hotel is NOT going to work!  I can’t even get into the bed it’s too high.” I responded, ” UM what do expect me to do about it?”  Followed by, ” Ok, then look for another hotel in the area.”  I know that I said I would tell the truth, the whole truth….. but I would have to write an entirely different long winded post about the rest of that conversation.  In short though, I told her I couldn’t help my train was boarding and to let me know what she figured out.

Boarding call for Amtrak 370 from Chicago to Holland Michigan

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Although their website says “Redcaps” (people employed by Amtrak wearing red shirts) are available EVERYWHERE to help people with mobility issues and with luggage, the first time I actually saw them was standing right in front of the platform.   In fact, they were all in my way, barely moving as I rolled out to the platform.  I am glad that I had the foresight to figure out how to my carry a bag myself because no one was eager to assist.

*Advice alert*  pack only what you need and/ or can manage on your own

I rolled down the platform until I saw a conductor who told me where he would be setting up the lift.

Boarding with the lift was a piece of cake until I tried to fit through the door.  DAMN legs….grrr.  Once I took them off it was no problem.  Handicap seating was immediately inside the door of the car, on both sides of the train.  There was even a luggage compartment on the floor that I could reach.

Once the train departed, I decided to sit on the Amtrak transfer seat instead of the wheelchair seat.  I shouldn’t have.  While sitting in said seat I was traveling backward.  It took no more than 20 minutes for me to remember why I don’t do backward.  Yes I hurled :(, but yay I made it to the bathroom. 🙂

Once that nasty business was finished I tried to roll to the Bar or cafe car for some ginger ale, only to find out that the wheelchair would not fit.  It was close.  😦  Plan B.

I thought I would try to distract myself from my stomach unhappiness by posting an update on my Facebook page, msgracefulnot.com.  I did not expect to see this video appear. …… and the flood gates opened…….  (If you are new to “my world” the video is of my recently deceased GSD, SNUFF.)  Back to the bathroom.

Round 3

I sent “T” a text to see what she decided to do about the hotel.  She called instead of texted me to complain for 20 minutes.  Her friend helped her into the bed  before she left, and we would indeed be staying there.  I said, “Okay, see you at 11” and hung up the phone.  As I sat there reviewing the days events in my head, I decided to walk to the Bar car.  Yes I WALKED to the cafe and justified it by telling myself that I wouldn’t “learn” anything else for the next few hours anyway.  I would just resume my test when I was going to detrain, disembark, get off…not sure what it’s called.

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When I entered the bar car, I was informed that the closest thing they had to ginger ale was CLUB SODA.

Never having tried it before I decided to give it a try.

It is NOTHING like ginger ale……. ewwww  😦

After I returned to my seat, I stopped the conductor as he passed by to see if he would mind answering a few questions for me.

He didn’t mind.

I briefly explained my “test” and told him that I was not able to fit through the aisle with my wheelchair to go to the Cafe Car.  I asked,  “What would someone in my position do, especially if they were on a longer ride than me?  He responded, “Well people in wheelchairs generally don’t travel alone.”…. My FACE said, “and then you met me.”  He said if someone needed something from the CAFE, he would happily get it for them…. shrug ok?

I have several suggestions for Amtrak should they ever decide to update their handicap accessibility information.  Cafe access is on my list, if I ever do send them my suggestions, I will provide a link here if that happens.

My conclusion of whether or not the trains are accessible for wheelchair travel is Yes, they are.  I am not saying that it is easy or super convenient, but it is doable with enough planning.

2000 words already?  I have only just begun….smh  I am going to end here for today.  If you are interested in hearing about all the dramatic parts of the trip, please check back next week where I will tell you about the drunk guy harassing me, how I broke my finger, and why I almost missed my train on the way home.

Thank you all for spending your time with me.  Maybe some of the information I share is useful?  I appreciate all of your comments and feedback!

 

 

 

Mission failed. Objective accomplished

My mission- in my own words

“Travel from Northern IL to Holland, Michigan and back without the use of my legs.” 

My objective  

To not only test if the Amtrak and Metra were handicap accessible, but to see if I could make it there and back in a wheelchair.

Wait a minute, the mission and the objective sound the same?

I thought so too, but the trip proved to me that I was sadly mistaken. The phrases “being in a wheelchair” and “not having use of your legs” are NOT synonymous.  I stated in my last post,

to make it an accurate Test, the circumstances need to be the same.  So with the exception of driving myself to the train station, ( I would be willing to pick her up and drop her off) I have made all of my travel plans from what I FELT was the perspective of someone who does not have use of their legs.

I also made the statement that….”I do agree that just because something SAYS it’s handicapped accessible, doesn’t mean that it actually is.”  While I did use the wheelchair, I did use my legs to pivot to the toilet once I was as close as I could get the chair.  I also climbed in bed ‘normally.’  I did not pull myself onto the bed.  I stood up and climbed in.  No wonder not everything that says handicap accessible is handicap accessible, how can you cover every possible limitation that someone might have?

Because I view every mistake, or experience as a learning opportunity,  I’ve been doing alot of reading and research about different levels of disability and the laws and services that are in place to as the ADA says

give civil rights protections to individuals with disabilities similar to those provided to individuals on the basis of race, color, sex, national origin, age, and religion. It guarantees equal opportunity for individuals with disabilities in public accommodations, employment, transportation, state and local government services, and telecommunications. The ADA is divided into five titles (or sections) that relate to different areas of public life.

Another thing that I found interesting is an article at https://www.apa.org/pi/about/newsletter/2015/11/handicap-disabilities, which describes the difference between disability and handicap.

Defining Disability

First, what does disability itself mean? A disability is a condition or quality linked to a particular person. A disability is present when activities usually performed by people (such as walking, talking, reading, learning) are in some way restricted. Thus, someone with congenital blindness has a disability, as does someone who must use a wheelchair for mobility purposes. Other disabilities are not necessarily apparent, for example, acquired brain injury or chronic depression.

Defining Handicap

In everyday life, some people use the term handicap or refer to people with disabilities as the handicapped. The first term — handicap — refers to an obstacle imposed on people by some constraint in the environment. Older buildings that lack ramps for wheelchair access, for example, present a handicap for people who use wheelchairs. In this case, a wheelchair user is handicapped — her mobility through use of her wheelchair is disrupted — by the missing ramp. However, she actually is not handicapped herself; rather, the handicapping element is in the environment, not within her.

So while I accomplished my ultimate goal or objective by proving that I could make it to Michigan and back in a wheelchair,   I did not prove that EVERYONE in a wheelchair could make this trip.  I’m not saying they can’t, but I am saying that I didn’t challenge myself in this way.

Later this week I will share the story in a  “Grace style” post telling you THE TRUTH, THE WHOLE TRUTH, AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH about my “adventure”. Einstein gave me one instruction before I left.  HE said, “Don’t break anything”…. I laughed.

I shouldn’t have.  😦

**Spoiler alert**

The trip CAN be made by someone without the use of their legs.

 

 

 

 

Your mission, should you choose to accept it

If you suddenly found yourself  without the use of your legs, would your life stop?

There was a point in my life that I would have said being in a wheelchair in any capacity would have been the end of my life. In fact, when I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis almost 20 years ago, and the neurologist pushed a wheelchair across the room saying I should “get used to it”. I truly thought my life was over.   At 26 years old, I was so naive.

Fortunately, over the last 20 years my time spent in a wheelchair has been minimal.  I haven’t required it’s daily use in years (other than when I was recovering from a surgery)

So what is this mission thing I am talking about?

The mission:  Travel from Northern IL to Holland, Michigan and back without the use of my legs.

Why am I doing it?

The reasons I decided to do this are ever evolving or changing. In my post, Where there is a Will there is a Grace, I explained that my daughter’s mother in law wanted to come visit the grandbabies.  I didn’t want to drive to Michigan and back to pick her up and drop her off so I suggested that she take the train.  Everyone was concerned that the train’s were not wheelchair accessible.

This is where my reasons for doing it began to change.  I am no longer doing this to avoid a long drive.  Past experience has told me that handicap accessible does not always mean handicap accessible, so I volunteered to “test” the route first.  To make it an accurate Test, the circumstances need to be the same.  So with the exception of driving myself to the train station, ( I would be willing to pick her up and drop her off) I have made all of my travel plans from what I felt was the perspective of someone who does not have use of their legs.

Once I began making reservations, my reasons for making the trip began to change again.  Each roadblock or hurdle that I came across, (I will explain more below) has made me more determined than ever to prove to myself that when or if the day comes that I am in a wheelchair full-time, my life will not be over.  I also hope to share what I learn with anyone else that might have the same fears about traveling like this.  (yes I have realized there are many things that are making me nervous)

My original plan was to drive to the Metra Station in Harvard, ILAs I mentioned before, getting a ride to and from the train station would not be an issue for T or for me, so I decided to allow myself to drive there and begin the test once I arrived at the train station.)   From the Metra station in Harvard, I would take the 2 hour train ride to The Chicago OTC (Ogilvie Transportation Center) where I would need to TRANSFER to Chicago’s Union Station to catch the Amtrak Train leaving for Holland at 6:30 pm arriving at 10:40 pm

:/ What does transfer mean, and how would I be doing it?  Google maps says that it’s a short 5 min walk.  For who?  (Actual distance is .3 miles.)  Are my arms strong enough to roll myself that far?  Would I be able to navigate through crowds with a wheelchair, or would everyone ignore me as they rushed about their lives?  What if it was 100 degrees or raining outside?  Still undecided if I had the guts to try this on my own, I found a link to Open Taxi’s which would take me from Chicago’s OTC to Union Station for $7.00 if I needed it.

Assuming I made it Union Station in one piece, I would need to be at the Amtrak station one hour before departure…. Ugh.  Since trains only leave Harvard every couple of hours, I would have to be on the train by 1:35 pm to make it to Chicago on time 😦  Maybe I look for a different way into Union Station?  It was already going to be a long trip, did I really want to spend more time sitting and waiting?!?  I decided not to make a decision about the Metra just yet and went back to exploring the Amtrak portion of the trip.

The Amtrak train would arrive in Holland at 10:40 p.m., but the train from Holland to Chicago did not depart until 6:40 the next morning.  That meant getting a hotel for the night.  (maybe paying me $200.00 to drive there and back would be cheaper after all?)  In effort to keep the costs down, I found a “cheap hotel”, but they didn’t offer shuttle service.  How would I get to the hotel in the middle of the night? Was there a different type of taxi for a passenger in a wheelchair?  Maybe Lyft?

A quick google search, showed that The Lyft app allows passengers with accessibility needs to enable Access Mode. In certain markets, when Access Mode is enabled, passengers may request a vehicle that is specially outfitted to accommodate wheelchairs.    (Not very reassuring)  To give them credit though, Lyft’s website does provide step by step instructions  complete with pictures explaining how to request wheelchair access.

I called everyone back to discuss the total cost of the trip to make sure they were willing to cover it, and got confirmation to book the hotel and train tickets. I went back to the Amtrak site to book the tickets, but did not see a link to request assistance for traveling in a wheelchair.  Fortunately, the site does have a virtual assistant that does make it relatively easy to book online. I chose to call Amtrak instead though, because I had other questions.

  1. If the train station is unmanned, how will anybody know that I am waiting on the platform, or that I need help?
  2. Are all of the restrooms also handicap accessible?

Surprisingly, I learned they are not.  While the customer service agent assured me there are handicap accessible restrooms on the train, not all are, even though those same cars have wheelchair seating.   Interesting?  I will have to investigate that further.  (It is a 3 hour long ride after all)

I booked our Amtrak tickets, made a hotel reservation, and checked in with a friend whose hubby used to drive for Lyft.  All that was left to do was to purchase Metra tickets.  I looked into a different Metra station that had trains running into Chicago hourly.  Sure I would have to drive further, but again I would be willing to do the same for T, so I consider it “allowed”.  After I downloaded the app to be able to purchase tickets, my mind started drifting back to 20 years ago when I took this same train to go to school in Chicago.  More questions…..

  1.  Didn’t I always have to climb stairs to board the train?
  2. Was there a special car for wheelchair seating?  How would I identify it?
  3. How would I pay for parking and how long was that payment good for?  (I used to have to rollup dollar bills and shove them in a machine.)  Hmmm, maybe there is an app for that too?

My questions made me start to second guess myself.  Ut oh, MORE RESEARCH!  I went back to Metrarail.com.  Again, the link about traveling in a wheelchair is not visible on their homepage, but using their search box and digging a bit produced a 26 page downloadable guide.  The guide answered my first two questions, though I have begun to make myself a bit nervous.  I’m in it now….

Parking still remained a question though.  I finally found an app that you could pay for parking online or from your phone.  Unfortunately, that same search informed me that there was no overnight parking at any of the Metra stations in Elgin…..   Grrr.

I am very grateful that my parents are as helpful and supportive as are.  I am going to park my car at their house overnight, and they will drive me to the station and pick us up the next day.  They will also be keeping D.O.G. overnight for me, although I don’t think I remembered to actually ask for that part yet.  Doh!

Everything is booked.  Adventure awaits!

As I started to think about packing, I realized that the only backpack I own holds the legs to my wheelchair when I am not using them.  How do you carry a purse or any kind of luggage if you are using your arms to push yourself in a wheelchair?  Do most wheelchairs have legs on them, or are they designed taller so your legs don’t touch the floor?  If I allow myself to worry I will never do this, so the new answer is One thing at a time.  I am sure I will make a lot of mistakes, but that’s how you learn right?

One last thing I found that I will have to investigate further when I get home, (not enough time now) is that the Regional Transit Authority or RTA  provides free one on one ADA training programs for using public transportation.

 

 

 

 

Where there is a WILL there is a GRACE?

You’ve all heard the expression, “Where there is a will there is a way” correct?

Thing One: “Mom, mommy, mother-dearest?”

Oh shit!….

Me: “I mean yes dear, what’s up?”

Thing One:  “Z and I were wondering if you would make a road trip to Michigan and pick up Z’s mom so she could come stay with us and see the boys?”

Me:  “ARE YOU FRICKING KIDDING ME?!?!?!?”

Thing One:  “You don’t have too!!! It’s just that last time she came down here, her “friend” charged her $400.00 and that’s just insane.”

Me:  “Sure, I will do it for $200.00”

Thing One: “MOM!”  ” Seriously, MOM!  Of course she would pay you for gas and stuff, but she can’t afford that, and this way you could even earn a little cash.”

Me:  “Like I said $200.00.”  😀

Thing One:  (shaking her head) “Just think about it ok?”

STUPID THOUGHTS!!!!!!!!!!!

Treat other people like you want to be treated Grace.

How would you feel if you were so far away from the kids or grandbabies?

Hell you couldn’t handle being away from them for the week you were in Italy……

LOOK at those faces!!!!!!!  DAMMIT!!!!!

boys

Before I continue, let me provide a bit of background information.  Z’s mom is in a wheelchair full time and doesn’t drive.  She lives 300 miles away from the kids and I.  I do have the time and the ability to make the trip, but the last time I tried to do something nice for Z’s mom…. I was left feeling very frustrated and vowed that I would never go out of my way to help her again.

After playing devil’s advocate with myself for more than an hour, I called Thing One again.  I told her, it would take me about 5 hours each way to drive there.  Realistically I COULD make the trip in under a day, and it would cost me about $50 in gas and tolls each way, but I really really didn’t want to do it.  Besides, I got a speeding ticket a couple weeks ago, which would make taking a long road trip all the more stressful.  (watch your speed Grace, watch your speed!!!!!)

The next day Z’s mom, (T) called me.

T: “Grace, while the kids were here last month they mentioned that you might be willing to help me get from Michigan to Illinois and back so I could come visit the boys.  I would be willing to pay you.”

Me:  “Have you considered taking the train like Z did when the kids were dating?”

T:  “I did, but Z said the Amtrak is not handicap accessible.”

Me:  “hmm, that surprises me in this day and age.”

T:  “Yeah, I know.  I really miss them and I am trying to figure out how to get down there.”

Right in the feels 😦

Me:  Let me look into it more and if it’s not handicap accessible, I will come get you ok?

T:  “THANK YOU!!!!”

Before we even hung up the phone, I headed to the fridge to grab a beer.  I opened google and typed  how the hell do I get out of this?!?!?!... “Is _______ Amtrak station handicapped accessible?”

Inkedaccessible_LI

It was!  Yay end of story?!?!!………….. yeah right.  Do you not know me by now?

This is where the real story begins.

I called T back and told her what I had found out. She still didn’t sound convinced.

I do agree that just because something SAYS it’s handicapped accessible, doesn’t mean that it actually is.  So now we go back to the whole treat other people like you want to be treated thing.  I can’t ask someone to do something that I wouldn’t be willing to do myself, and to be honest I have never traveled full time in a wheelchair.

As far as I was concerned the only way I could know for sure, would be to do it myself.  I asked Einstein to “hold my beer” while I called the kids.  I told them that if they were willing to cover my travel expenses, I would be willing to make the trip to Michigan to meet her, and to travel back with her all the while remaining in my wheelchair.

The kids thought it would be a great idea and would make T more comfortable taking the trip by herself in the future.  I called her back and she said she was “all in”.  So next week I am heading to Michigan.  I am still working out the details, which (spoiler alert) are a bit unsettling.  I will share my plans before I actually leave and of course I will write about the actual events of the trip when I return.  In the meantime……

Have you ever realized that most of my travel plans take shape when I am trying to help a friend but have also been drinking?  Definitely many  hold my beer moments.  If you would like to read or revisit some of my past adventures, please click on the following links:

Texas Trip

Boston Trip

Italy Trip

Wish me luck!