Fuck the hastas

For several years now, my girls and I have had a “Family” group chat on Facebook Messenger. ( just the 3 of us) I think I started it to try to facilitate more conversations between the two of them. While I am very close with both of my kids, they were not “friends”. They love each other and always have, but they focused more on their differences than similarities. Creating the chat was a great idea! I think it has allowed all of us to be more connected. Someone writes something in it every day. Sometimes it’s just the two of them, sometimes we are all there. More on that another time though.

Yesterday, Thing Two and her boyfriend began their move to Tennessee.

They where hauling their motorcycles and tools in their trailer while another friend was hauling their furniture in his semi. When we said our Goodbyes, I reminded her to let me know when they made it so I wasn’t constantly bombing her with “Are you there yet?” messages.

I have not been to the new house yet,(I’ve only seen pictures and videos, but Google tells me it should take 10 1/2 hours (10 hours and 26 mins to be exact). I know that pulling a trailer will take a bit longer, so I waited until 6 O’clock to ask how they were doing. She responded that they had gotten stuck in some severe thunderstorms and flooding, but were doing ok.

At 9 O’clock, I messaged asking, “Are you there yet?” She responded that they had gotten caught in another storm, which slowed them down, but they were 33 minutes away….. “Almost as bad as our 16 day road trip on for my 16th Birthday Mom” ( that’s also another story) .

“Ok kiddo, I love you! I’m going to bed. Be safe and don’t forget to text when you’ve made it”.

At 9:30 they text came in that they had made it. That’s all I needed to hear!

Thing One (my other daughter) had been “radio silent” yesterday. Sunday’s are the one day that both her and her husband are home all day with the boys without having to be somewhere else. When I woke up this morning, there were 20 messages between Thing One and Thing Two. I quickly scanned them before heading for coffee. One of the messages said, “Fuck the hastas”.


“Fuck the hastas”, meant… “Fuck the Hostas” (plants).

Apparently their friend had some difficulty getting the trailer into the driveway, during which her boyfriend said, “Fuck the Hostas.” I mentioned that I have not actually seen the house right?………. just the listing, so I pulled it up on Zillow…..

There are no hostas in the outside pictures……….. so this began the next set of texts:

Me:  Hey kiddo?….  This is your new address right?

Thing Two:  Yes

Me:  There are no hostas?

Thing Two:  Yes I know

Me: ?????? Fuck the hostas?

Thing Two: They aren’t on our property, they were the neighbors

Me: Um, whoops?

Thing Two: Yea, we will have to speak to the neighbors

Me: ROFLMAO…………. buy them a gift card or a plant?

She didn’t respond to that other than to send me a picture of her and her boyfriend standing in their new house holding a ginormous key.

I am happy that they are having a good day. Things went smoothly and they are no longer “homeless”. I am still laughing though because another conversation we had a couple days ago was…..

Thing Two: Chewy delivered Kota’s food to our old house, what would you do?

Me: Knock on their door, apologize, and ask for the dog food (don’t just show up and take it)

Thing Two: But then I have to TALK TO THEM.

Me: Um yeah?

Thing Two: No that’s what YOU would do. I don’t want to talk to them!!!

Me: Well you did ask what I would do…..

Thank you for letting me share my story with you. I am very happy for them. I know they will resolve the hosta issue and even become friends with their entire neighborhood just as they did at their old house.

On a side note…… I probably have 100 hosta plants that I could split and deliver on my first visit..


“I’m officially homeless”

Not me, but my youngest daughter is. She texted me on May 1st and said, “I’m officially homeless”. I responded with, “YAY YOU KIDDO! CONGRATS!!!!!” Strange I know right? Obviously there is more to the story…..

My “baby” and her boyfriend have sold their house and are in the process of moving out of state. Since they haven’t closed on their new house yet, technically they are homeless. They have many friends that have invited them, and their dogs to couch surf (stay in their guest rooms) until they close on their new house on the 9th. Of course they were welcome to stay with us as well.

They left Illinois this morning. While I am going to miss just being up the street from them, I am more excited for their adventure. I am proud that they have made much better decisions in their lives at 26 than I did. I’m gonna hold onto that for now and be proud that my daughter is homeless!

Is that a walking stick? No it’s my broom?!?

True story. I was walking into a hotel with my walking stick, and someone asked me, “Is that a walking stick?” TBH, my first thought was, smh, “No it’s my broom!” “What kind of question is that?” Etc etc etc., but then I realized maybe they didn’t know, and I didn’t have to be an ass. After I replied that yes it was indeed my walking stick, the woman asked if I had a few moments and/or would mind answering some questions for her. We moved to the seating area and she began telling me that her doctor suggested she start using a cane, to help prevent falling, but she wondered why some people chose a walking stick. Was it stronger? Was it Vanity? Did she need a pair of them?

I hate that I felt I had to start my response with, “Well, I’m not a doctor, (for fear of being sued or something silly like that) but I don’t feel supported enough with a cane.” “By the time I feel like I’m going to fall, I’m halfway to the ground. A walking stick not only feels stronger (more supportive), but I feel that it allows me to catch myself sooner.”

We chatted for another 10 or 15 mins and I began to walk back to my room. I’m glad I wasn’t an ass and that I stopped to talk. I do remember having to use aides for the first time and being overwhelmed with the choices. Maybe I helped? I hope I helped. As I walked away, I did chuckle to myself that maybe I am going to add some bristles around the bottom of my stick to make it look like a broom. Definite conversation starter wouldn’t you think?

Lately, I’ve been toying with the idea of starting to blog again. I’ve made it as far as logging into wordpress and saying, “hey”. My first step though was logging in and seeing my last post about losing my Best Friend. I would quickly close the webpage wondering how you come back after writing that. Maybe? You just do. Maybe you start with a hello? I’ve done that. Maybe I share what I have been doing to move on for the last several months? Shrug. I’m not really sure what the future holds, other than another post talking about sticks, canes, wheelchairs etc. I do hope to see and talk with you all soon though!

Letter to My Best Friend (Munch)

It’s hard to believe that it’s been over a month since we’ve talked……

Who am I kidding, I talk to you everyday?!!??!

If I really think about it, I guess it also hasn’t been a month since I’ve seen you. I have 1000’s of pictures, both physical ones and all of those images and memories of us and our 30 years of friendship that are burned in my mind.

Hmmm in reality, it hasn’t even been a month since I have heard your voice. (I have never been more thankful for the technology of voicemails and videos!!!!)

SO WHY DOES IT STILL HURT SO BAD?!?!?!? I feel like I have a huge hole in my heart, yet my heart is so full of you.

FUCK CANCER! Fuck all the pain I watched you endure! Fuck all the pain I still feel!!!!

Well now that the emotional shit is out of the way… ( NOT) We should probably catch up…

Oh wait! I’m mad at you!

I don’t care if it makes any sense!

I’m mad that you aren’t here! I’m mad that my RIDE OR DIE friend DIED! How could you do this to me?!?!?!?

We are supposed to turn 50 next year!!! Remember the party of a lifetime?!?!!? So where the hell are you?!?!?!?

When I opened wordpress today, I had every intention of “catching up with you”. I wanted to tell you that my surgery went ok. The new MS drug hasn’t hurt me, I don’t think…, I finally kicked the crazy bitch out of my house, although she is threatening to sue me…smh, and so many more things, but then the emotions came pouring out.

I’m sorry. I miss you.

I’ve been looking at memorial tattoo idea’s to add to our “eyes in the back of our head” tattoos. I found one that says, “You may be gone from my sight, but you are never gone from my heart.” , which I kind of liked. I also thought about tattooing the last note you wrote me, under the eyeballs. With as emotional as I have been, I know that I need to wait a little longer. Maybe I do that for the big 50?

Rest in Peace my friend!