Laughter is the BEST Medicine

Yesterday I let pain and confusion cloud and take over my judgment and mood.  I was so focused on what I couldn’t do that I forgot to use all the powerful tools I have at my disposal…..the biggest of which is the ability to laugh at myself.

I want to share some things with you that I hope will make you laugh, smile, or at the very least shake your head.

I wrote before about all the prep work you should do before surgery,  While I was getting groceries …….. a woman walked up to me and said, “Excuse me ma’am. I hate to tell you this, but your boots don’t match.” your boots dont match.jpg She was right.  I have no fashion sense.  It made me laugh.  Thank you random friendly stranger.  🙂

I was also racing around to make sure my house was clean, nothing to impede my movements in a wheelchair, etc.  I lost my balance, tripped, or something and came down hard ON MY GOOD leg….smh

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When I was trying to pull myself up (very difficult with the stupid boot on) I again lost my balance and hit my eye on the counter giving myself a black eye.  I swear you can’t make this shit up!!!!  I can only imagine what I looked like when I walked into the surgery center.

 

 

After surgery, when my dad was telling me what the doctor said and did, he told me and I quote, “So the doctor took off your big toe, reamed holes in your foot and then your toe, they put in a stud and then screwed your big toe back on”.  I was horrified, but I believed him. That is SO NOT what they did!!!!!  The sad thing is, when I was explaining to a couple of friends what the surgery was for, I told them exactly what my dad had said.  If they were laughing at me they didn’t let it show…..SMH….. I hope my father remembers he will be having his other shoulder replaced next year and karma is a bitch! 😛

plateBefore I continue, I THINK this is what they DID do to my foot.  Again, I won’t really know for sure until I follow up on Thursday.  I will try to take a picture also, but I have a tendency to pass out or get sick when I see or feel pain.

Ok so now let’s talk about hindsight being 20/20.  Before surgery, I wrote about “practicing” for recovery.  I went through my entire house with the wheelchair making sure it fight everywhere I would need to go.  I FORGOT that I would have a leg support on the right side of the wheelchair which adds almost 3 feet to your turning radius.  DOH!

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This has come in handy though for getting my dogs to move out of the way.  Poor things haven’t left my side since surgery.

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20180908_122505There was also this ONE time, I forgot the catheter bag was hanging under the wheelchair when I was trying to transfer back to my bed.  I only forgot ONE time, and I don’t know if I will ever find it funny, but I don’t mind if you do.

 

I’d like to share a couple more pictures, but first I need to thank everyone for all your thoughts, well wishes, moral support and encouragement, and a special thanks to my dear friend Jeri for the 4 containers of ice cream you delivered!!!!!!!

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This picture is from this morning, and although, it looks kind of gross, the swelling has gone down tremendously from the first couple days, and I do have faith that there are better days ahead.  BABY STEPS!!! literally with my GIANT boot.

Chris and Tom commented earlier about signing my cast.  I am not that technologically oriented to figure out how, but if you can feel free…. It’s a great reminder that I am not alone 🙂

My best friend Gary virtually signed my cast from my wrist surgery a couple years ago.

tiggerifficI hope you all have a great weekend!!!!!!

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Let’s get moving…

Thank God not the packing and unpacking kind!  I mean the putting one foot in front of the other moving kind of moving.

So I bought a “generic” Fitbit.  By generic I mean the $30.00 not name brand one from amazon.  ( If interested….click the picture!!!) While the specs say that I can link it to my phone, check my heart rate,  and sleeping patterns, the only thing I investigated about it, is how many steps I take in a given day.

I’ve heard people talk about making their goal 10,000 steps in a day, and wanted to see where I compared…..

NOT EVEN CLOSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On an average day, I took about 1500 steps.  WTF?!?  I am busy from the time I wake up til the time I “pass out” each night…. That couldn’t be accurate!!!!!

Well it turns out it is.  I spend so much time driving, waiting at doctors, playing on the computer, fighting with insurance companies, reading, doing laundry whatever…that I really don’t move.  SMH

Time to fix this shit!  I made myself a challenge to get at least 3000 steps in a day and I have done it!!!!!!!  Can I have a cookie now?.… No I’m actually serious…..Ok I’m not, but I AM feeling good!  I am proud of myself.  Not only for setting a goal and making it, but for facing a huge fear of mine by walking alone again.

I am not quite up to a mile at a time yet, but I have learned that if I can beat the heat (waking up at 5 am), I can come close.  I have even started taking my dogs with me again… ONE AT A TIME, and holding the leash very loosely.

Walking by myself in a residential area is kind of boring,

road hazard

 

and to be honest it is still kind of scary for me considering a crack like this can be a major road hazard. but it is still better than walking on a treadmill and every step I take hopefully keeps me out of a wheelchair that much longer.

 

Sometimes, I can con my neighbor into walking with me, but she works nights and doesn’t appreciate the early morning “Hey let’s go for a walk wake up calls”.

A bonus is that I don’t smoke when I walk, so if I can keep increasing my activity, maybe it will help with the quitting smoking goal too.

 

 

The Finale is really only the beginning

As I sat trying to figure out how I was going to move ALL of my belongings from a however many foot ranch with a full basement to a one bedroom “apartment” ( kind of) I felt like a teenager again.  My coffee pot is set up in the bathroom (to try to conserve space) but yah closer to where my desk will be set up?  I am trying to look at this as a fresh start where anything is possible.  Sure it’s scary, most new things are.

I am/was struggling with what material things need to come with me and which ones will go to storage.  But yah that will help me focus on what is most important to me?

The photo albums do have to come!

Actually I think I am going to start scrapbooking again as a healing tool.  Originally,  I started scrap booking ( more picture taking with LOTS of  journaling) for my children. In addition to being diagnosed with MS at 26, I was also diagnosed with cervical cancer AND my kidneys were being damaged because of my inability to urinate.  I was afraid that I was dying and no one would tell them the “whole story” about their mother.  I knew people would share the pedestal stories with them, but I also wanted them to know the one’s that I am not proud of, and about the personal struggles I faced.

photo albumI started making and filling photo albums, not only about my life but albums for each of my girls highlighting their birthdays, sports, Christmas parties, school events etc….who knew that I would end up with so many?!?!?!

I have scanned  most of the albums to disk and tried to give the actual books to my daughters, now that they have homes of their own, but they don’t want to store them.  They also will not let me throw them away….smh… Whoever said raising girls was easy, can kiss my ass!!!!!

To be honest, I don’t think I could throw them out either.

Ok so the photo albums are coming with me.  (This is only one load in the back of my car.)  The final deciding factor to bring them with though, is so that they will serve as a visual reminder for myself of all the things I have survived, and all of the good times I have had in my life for the days that I don’t feel strong enough.

 

Personal Goals

Sometimes I feel like my brain is a blender, random thoughts going around at high speeds so that I can’t focus on any one thing.  To combat the craziness, and try to slow my thoughts down, I write notes everywhere: on my phone, on post- its, in any number of notebooks….I call them Ramblings.  I do believe the actual ACT of writing things down, does help to slow things down a bit.

I have spent the last week gathering all of my Ramblings, and compiling them all into one GINORMOUS list.  After having a minor (ok it was major) panic attack.  I have chosen a few items to focus on during the rest of the month.  You have to start somewhere right?

My focus for the month of October:

  1. Losing weight and improving my health
  2. Continuing to learn WordPress and webpage design
  3. Cleaning out my closet ( finishing something that I started a long time ago)

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Losing weight – The goal is to weigh less than 150 lbs by the end of October.  I plan to follow the Grapefruit Diet at least 2 of the 3 days out of each week, drink a minimum of 64 ounces of water a day, and to walk everyday with my ultimate goal of being able to walk a mile a day.  (I’m still pondering if the goal is one mile without taking a break or just walking at LEAST a mile every day but I figure some movement is better than none right?

Continuing to learn wordpress– I WANTED to make this a page.  I think that’s what is called.  I wanted to make a link to this in the bookmark bar with a child page? of October goals maybe post my status or results?  I haven’t learned how to do that yet, so that simple feature is my goal for this month. Oh yeah and how to move pictures and headings around, I’m still playing with that.

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Cleaning out my closet– I own 4 of these seasonal cross stitch patterns, one for each season.  I used to do cross stitch a lot while waiting at doctors appointments and when I was in the wheelchair to try to keep my mind busy with something other than feeling sorry for myself.  Since I have been more active, they have lived in a shoebox.  It seems sad to let all the time and money I spent on them to go to waste, so I pulled out the Autumn one and made the goal to finish the part I TRIED to outline ( somehow I ended up with an eraser to do it but it will work for my purpose) shrug.

I believe that making goals, even if they a small goals is a positive start.  I don’t want to make a tremendous list and set myself up to fail.  So I have baby steps on making a few areas of my life more manageable.  Wish me luck?!