A very LONG walk

I don’t know if I have ever talked about it before, but I used to be STUCK in a wheelchair.  It was 2009, before I started Tysabri Infusions.   I won’t give all the credit the that I am again walking to Tysabri, but it has been very effective at slowing down the frequency of my MS flares and relapses.  There was also a stay in a rehab facility and a solid year of physical therapy 3 x a week once I was discharged.  I have also been on Ampyra for, hmm I don’t know how many years as well.  (If you have never heard of it, Ampyra is known as the “walking drug” for MS.)

A few years ago, I had worked up to being able to walk for a full mile at a time without having to stop or take a break.  That’s NOT to say I wasn’t ‘down’ for the rest of the day, or that there were not a few falls ( and bone breaks ) involved, but I went from wheelchair to walking, and I was so proud of myself!!!!  I had even begun taking my dogs for my morning walk, until that ONE DAY!

When I woke up that morning, I didn’t really feel like walking, but if therapy taught me anything it was IF YOU DON’T USE IT, you LOSE it.  So I dragged my ass out of bed, brushed my teeth, coffeed, leashed the dogs, and headed out the door.

dogsWhen my dogs went through obedience and therapy dog training, they were each ‘assigned’ different sides, D. O. G walks on the left, and SNUFF walks on the Right.   (in the picture  they are reversed) I wrapped each of their leashes around my hands tightly, and would soon find out that I had made a HORRIFIC mistake in doing so.

Both dogs could sense that I wasn’t feeling well and weren’t behaving as well as they normally did.  (They were competing for my attention and walking under my feet.)  I was very grateful to be rounding the last corner of the block  (I was less than 200 feet from my front door)

The “Scene of the Crime”

sceneThis building was a barber shop, and the barber had come out to empty his trash.  When he saw me he waved and called “hello” as he did 100 times before.  For some reason, both dogs pulled in different directions and down I went…… literally something like this….


I landed directly on my chin and was pulled/dragged toward the un-offending man while he ran back in the store.  (In his defense, he did TRY to come back out to help me up, but the dog’s seemed to have lost their minds when I fell and would not let him anywhere near me)

Somehow I got the dog’s under control and was finally able to stand up and limp home.  I made it in my front door, called out to thing 2 and immediately collapsed again.

(to be continued)

I don’t think I made it clear when I posted this, this was a couple years ago.  Sorry if I mislead anyone





Am I strong?

Lately, I have had several people tell me how strong I am.  I laugh and I quickly deny it thinking…… “If they only knew.”

I am not strong..but.. I am resourceful. 😉

I have an ARMY of POSITIVE people (ok some VERY strong) in my life that push me to get back up when getting out of bed is a struggle.  I don’t mean butterflies and rainbows positive, I mean the ones that will literally drag me out of bed, and tell me to put my big girl panties on.  People that REMIND me of the things I have survived, and that they NEED ME too.

I joke all the time that if not for bad luck I wouldn’t have any luck at all…..But I am lucky.

I have incredible parents, friends, and family that are always there to kick my ass back into reality when I need it.  They won’t LET me feel sorry for myself.  They remind me that although I have made 10,000,000 mistakes, I have learned something good from each of them. They remind me that there is always someone else that has it “harder” than me.man with no feet

Not only do my friends listen to and support me, by offering an ear or a shoulder, some days lots of kleenex, and the occasional “ass kicking”, but they share THEIR imperfections and learning experiences with me, and I LISTEN!!!!  Not as in taking advice listening, (I am bad at that), but I LISTEN and HEAR that EVERYONE has struggles, EVERYONE, has done things they aren’t proud of, has made mistakes, and taken some hits.Man walking at sunset

I gain something from EVERYONE I come into contact with, even if its a lesson in how I do not want to do things.

If you are struggling with depression, anxiety etc.  may I suggest that you consider “cleaning out your closet” and removing the things or people that don’t make you feel or push you to be stronger?

Let me again state that by positive people, I don’t mean all smiles all the time.  Here are some “strange examples”…

Me: I need to lose weight

Positive influence:  What are you gonna do about it?

Me: Um….. good point, it does start with me…

or another

Me:  I hate being broke!!!!

Positive influence:  Have you quit smoking yet?

Me:….grrrrrr, Ok Ok

So by positive, I mean the ones that call to say…..”Have you walked on the treadmill yet today?”….. The ones that genuinely care and celebrate your victories as their own!

But Back to my original question…… “Am I strong?”.… no, NOT even a little…. but I do have great “resources”.